College kids are hungover four days out of the week.
Whether it's Wine Wednesdays or Saturday football tailgates, we are either excessively drinking or desperately trying to figure out what the hell happened the night before.
Most of the time, we can successfully scrape up 80 percent of the night by interrogating friends on our 2 am whereabouts or checking our bank statements for absurd Domino's charges.
It's the other 20 percent that will most likely remain a big fat question mark because tequila is not a reliable friend when it comes to having our blacked-out backs.
While we all have that one talented drunk friend who can drink an entire bottle of prosecco and still remember every damn detail of the night, the rest of us spend our weekend mornings scavenging the bathroom floor for any sign of our lost dignities.
Thanks to our extensive experience being intoxicated, here are 19 ways to help you attempt to find the puzzle pieces of your drunken weekend:
1. Friends' Snapchats
You may find yourself stumbling around in the background of their stories.
2. Uber Receipts
These are crucial in telling you what your exact movements were after you said your Irish goodbye and left the party.
3. Venmo History
It'll tell you if you drunkenly paid someone $500 instead of $5 for a single slice of pizza.
4. FaceTime And Call History
Do you owe your ex an apology for the 12 FaceTimes and four voicemails you left?
5. Safari History
This will tell you whether or not you Googled, "Siri, where am I?"
6. Camera Roll
Drunken selfies are key in determining whom in the world you were with all night.
7. Your Purse Or Clutch
After making sure you have all your credit cards, check to see if you have any receipts that could give you a clue as to just how many drinks you bought at the bar.
8. Contact List
Sometimes, we make friends with complete strangers when we're drunk.
So, see if there is a new contact that stands out as questionable. (You probably put his name in as, "Guy from the bar.")
If you were that much of a disaster that you drunkenly Instagrammed something, first check if there's a location to tell you something about your whereabouts.
Then, delete it immediately so people don't find out you are a sloppy drunk.
10. Your Email
You may or may not have had serious beer googles on and thought it was a splendid idea to email someone.
Do some serious damage control if you emailed a professor and have class with him on Monday morning at 10 am.
11. iPhone Notes
Were you smart enough to leave yourself any clues as to what you could've possibly been doing from 11 pm until 3:30 am?
Maybe one of your friends was your knight in shining armor and put you to bed, but obviously not before he or she sent an embarrassing picture of you facedown with your shoes still on.
The Holy Bible of drunken nights, your iMessages will tell you how many times you texted your roommates, saying you were locked out when you were actually banging on your neighbor's door.
Scrapes and cuts will tell you whether you spent a good portion of the night on the ground of the sidewalk outside the bar, or if you managed to keep your sh*t together for most of the night.
Either you stalked your fourth grade boyfriend who's now a total dime in college, or you posted in the party event, "Has anyone seen my left flip flop?"
16. Google Maps
Did you drop a pin to notify your friends they must pick you up at that exact location in "precisely three minutes."
If you're into that, make sure you didn't swipe right for your best friend's little brother.
18. Your Arms
Tally the lines on your arm to check how many shots you took.
If your total is more than six, then you will most likely never find answers to your drunken weekend.
Maybe you should stay in next Friday night to give your liver a break.
19. Recently Used Emoji Tab
If the SOS emoji, the wine glass emoji and the eggplant emoji are in your recently used category, you clearly enjoyed yourself.
(They won't give you any answers, but it's very entertaining to see how you expressed your drunkenness.)
Hopefully these tips will get you a little bit closer to solving the mystery that is your intoxicated weekend.
If not, chalk this one up to a loss and accept you can't win 'em all, especially when you started the night out with a terrible case of red wine teeth.