Lifestyle

How Modern Technology Ruined The Modern Woman

by Sean Levinson

Guys have terrible attention spans. We cannot go a second without our minds escaping to the confines of mental pictures such as sexual fantasies, amusing sports plays, or delicately designed dinner selections. Women, however, have horrifying, disastrous, appalling attention spans. Modern technology is to blame for the eradication of the modern good girl.

It is almost impossible for a girl to think of one thing and one thing alone for a single moment of time, as their tragically made brains are continuously assaulting their thoughts with an endless amount of reminders, priorities, emotional interpretations, schedule changes, the list goes on.

Worsening the sorry excuse for a female attention span even further is the every day use of modern technological tools such as the mobile phone or computer. While hundreds of women may view these toys as necessary filters for their expressive nature, it turns out that what phones and computers really do for women is make it more obvious to on lookers of just how mentally all-over-the-place they really are.

Anyone who has seen the inside of a women's thought process is either being paid to do so or has a ring on his finger. That shit is so up and down, it's scary. There are so many degrees of happiness and sadness a women experiences throughout the day that an over-share of these emotions would easily intimidate even the most patient or tolerant males.

It's not unattractive for a female to actively use media tools such as Facebook and Twitter for uploading pictures or posting funny statuses, but when a girl uses a website to consistently update the world on how everything around her is making her feel, this isn't exactly the best tactic for appearing stable to the male population. Women also tend to have much more extreme feelings than men, so it's safe to say that when even the most classic sites like LiveJournal were invented, the creators did not consider what females were okay with putting on the internet for everyone to see.

Twitter and Instagram allow women to make a scene, something they love doing, out of anything they find amusing throughout the day. This might as well be compared to a bird trying to find a good spot to do its business while chasing a shiny object while seeing if any of the birds nearby would make good mates. In other words, if a girl takes full advantage of any of the aforementioned media tools, anyone who sees the result will be so overcome with fear that they will never want to encounter this woman again.

Personally, nothing turns me off more than a girl with her face glued to the screen of a phone. When I see a girl walking around not looking straight ahead but instead studying the anatomy of a text as if it was a dead body, I walk the other way. We get it, you like to feel informed and attentive to what's going on, even when you are sitting at a restaurant table or crossing the street. Would anybody want to talk a walk with a girl who is constantly feeling the need to check her phone?

Think of how unattractive that repeated movie character of a neglectful parent who spends more time answering his cell phone than he does with his five year old son. It's a phone, not a pet that requires constant nurturing or a bomb that will explode if not re-wired every other minute.

We can't blame girls for feeling the need to check Facebook and Twitter all the time, these impulses our natural for the female mental process. Women are constantly trying to judge and read people, in an attempt to rationalize the often fallacious impressions they have of others in their heads. They are always pondering what their friends, love interests or colleagues are thinking, feeling, along with who they are associating with in their spare time.

Smart Phones allow us to check social media sites whenever we please,most of which allow us to post our thoughts and feelings. So, if a girl is given the opportunity to take one giant step closer to their goal of being able to read their friends' minds with the push of a button, it doesn't take a genius to understand that checking statuses, tweets and any social media updates from anyone they care about will soon consume a startling amount of the average girl's day.

Giving a woman a Smart Phone is like giving a man a Fleshlight that can be folded up to fit into a pocket. We would always be using it! Would girls like to see me constantly going to the bathroom every second to use this new found tool? No, just like men hate women who can't go a second without checking their phones.

When a guy is in the presence of a girl he likes, there are few things more devastating to his confidence than seeing a girl look down at her phone on a way-too regular basis. We already have worries that you are more mentally messed up than we previously thought, so every tweet, update of the status or simple check of the phone certifies our belief that the girl has way too much on her mind to, I don't know, actually listen to what we're saying?

Girls wonder why so many men are into the more laid back, hippie-looking chicks who don't try to draw that much attention to themselves or seem careless about the little bumps in the road throughout the day. This is because not placing importance on things that can wait to be addressed when a girl is alone along with not showing concern for things that shouldn't directly impact a girl's mood is extremely attractive.

We like girls who can just chill, because that's all we really want to do to get to know you and really enjoy your company. Don't go around showcasing  insecurity for the current situation or vulnerability towards the world at large.

I know this isn't the intention of the majority of female busy bodies out there, but the fact is, giving more attention to a phone or computer rather than reality is down right disrespectful. Girls who spend too much time checking or venting to a screen seem unsatisfied and high-maintenance, two qualities that will only attract men of equal mental instability.

We love women, but not when they're on their iPhones and Facebook. Put down the phone, get off the computer and look around, where real people are waiting to listen and talk. I know we like things you can't understand but there's no way we are less interesting or engaging than a screen. Everyone who knows you knows you are in fact alive, you don't have to use the internet to prove it every living second.

Elite.