Netflix: It’s a revolution and one of the better things to come out of the expanding Internet landscape. For just $7.99 a month, or a friend with extra access and a kind heart, you get a bottomless pit of random flicks and original series that could keep you in bed until your presumed death.
It’s come to redefine the way we watch television. For many of us, it’s become a very personal and cherished experience. It’s a type of alone time we’ve never experienced before: just you, an array of films and recommendations based on your interests.
It’s movies and documentaries you never knew existed and the enticing idea that you could watch TV until the very end.
It’s the stuff you watch when you just really need to satisfy that itch for a movie you don’t yet know exists. But now, you know what you like.
You know you like movies based in Ecuador and you like a strong female lead. You like movies featuring men like Don Cheadle and maybe something in the genre of quirky independent drama.
With the amount of time we spend trolling through archives and sub genres, our Netflix accounts have come to depict our unique and, many times, hidden personalities.
Its suggestions and recently-viewed lists are insights into a person’s soul, as you’re introduced to the weird array of films and shows they choose when no one’s watching.
It’s amazing how perfectly a person’s movie selections at 2 am and noon on a Saturday describe them; how their recently-viewed tabs and instant queues are just bursting with their hidden desires and fantasies.
It’s their deepest darkest secrets and passions lying there in the form of 80s rom-coms and Holocaust documentaries.
It might just be one of the most honest reflections of a person you can get.
Movie taste has always said a lot about people, and Netflix has just taken it to the next level. No longer are we only able to judge one another on our top five favorite movies (which, in itself, is enough to tell you if that person has good taste), but on the array of movies they watched Tuesday afternoon when they didn’t go to work.
You can see exactly how deep their obsession with Diane Keaton runs, or how their preference for lesbian independents explains more than you thought. It’s a portal into someone’s soul and it’s time to define exactly what your Netflix queue says about you.
If you have a lot of movies featuring group ensembles, you need some friends.
If you have a lot of foreign films, you need to stop rolling your own cigarettes.
If you have only Netflix original series, you have good taste.
If you have “Movies Featuring A Strong Female Lead,” you need to get laid.
If you have titles related to “A Fish Called Wanda,” you’re thinking too much about getting a crew cut like Jamie Lee Curtis.
If you have titles related to “Bob's Burgers,” you’re smoking too much weed (not that it's even possible).
If you have only documentary series, you are a secret intellect.
If you have a lot of musicals, you should be out of the closet right now.
If all of your comedies are British, you need to get out of the country.
If you’ve watched all the porn documentaries, you need to rethink your life (and career).
If you watch a lot of movies based on books, you should probably read more.
If you watch a lot of movies based on high school, you need to grow up.
If you have "Independent Dramas Set In New York City," you need to leave your apartment.
If you have titles related to “Schindler's List,” you need to talk to someone.
If you watch a lot of movies with Rob Schneider, you should just off yourself.
If you watch a lot of independent movies, you should probably stop talking about them to everyone.
If you have a lot of ABC dramas, you need to find a hobby.
If you have titles related to “Felicity,” you need to revaluate your life.
If you have romantic dramas, you need to get over that breakup.
If you have anime, you need to never tell anyone.
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