Shaving your legs is one of those little hassles every girl dreads.
It involves standing awkwardly bent over in your shower, trying not to fall or rinse off your shaving cream or nick yourself.
Everything about it is annoying.
Like so many other things, it just isn’t necessary.
There are so many things I’d rather be doing with my time than shaving my legs. It hardly seems worth it. It only lasts for a few days, anyway.
You shave your legs, and then two days later, it was all for nothing; the hair just grows back.
Why even bother?
I sure don’t shave most of the time.
When I really think about it, the state of my unshaved legs is actually the perfect metaphor for life.
It represents all of the mindless, pointless sh*t that I’m just not willing to put up with on a daily basis.
My fuzzy legs show that I recognize there are more important things to worry about. There are so many other things to fret over in life without having to deal with inconsequential BS that won’t even stand the test of time.
I’d rather dedicate another 15 minutes a day to working on a project I love or spend that 20-something dollars on a bar tab rather than a new razor.
I’d rather worry about making connections than improving my chances of getting laid.
The state of my unshaved legs basically sums up how I feel about everything: I just don’t have time for stupid sh*t, and I just do not care what anyone thinks about my choices.
If you’re sitting around worried about shaving your legs, what are you actually doing with your life?
1. Because I don’t have the time for things I don’t care about.
I don’t have the patience to do anything I despise like dedicating time to grooming every follicle of hair on my body. I’m working on improving my mind.
2. Because I’m ashamed of nothing.
It would take a lot more than a little leg hair to shame me, bitch.
3. Because perfect is boring.
I’m proud of my imperfections because they make me unique. Free the spirit, and free the leg hair!
4. Because life gets in the way of stupid sh*t.
Life will always get in the way of pointless fodder. I’m too busy doing other things to be bothered with stuff like grooming.
5. Because I never have and never will care about societal standards.
My unshaved legs are my giant middle finger to society. It’s one small step in my female liberation.
6. Because the only person I’m trying to please is myself.
I’m my own number one, and number one doesn’t give a f*ck about shaving my legs. When my legs are hairy, it’s not gross; it’s just liberating.
7. Because I have more important things to worry about.
Like most silly beauty practices, there are more important things in the world than leg hair. I have bigger fish to fry.
I only deal with things that have value, and shaving my legs is pretty damn low on the totem pole.
8. Because I like to go against the grain.
I’m my own person. I never do anything the way other people do. All the girls are out here with their smooth legs, and I’m over here like, “I’m fuzzy and proud, b*tches.” That is basically how I am with all things.
9. Because I have a wild side.
My hairy legs show my unapologetically crazy self. I have a little jungle fever, and I probably read "Gilgamesh" too many times.
10. Because any guy who actually wants me isn’t going to let a few hairs get in the way.
I like to just put everything out there in the open. It’s a good way to test the waters, whether it is my love of the C-word or my unshaved legs. If my hairy legs are so repulsive to you, you can show yourself out.
11. Because I like to be warm.
There are some people who are always hot and some people who are always cold. I am going to do whatever it takes to ensure I am the former.
12. Because natural will always be better for me.
I hate makeup, and I hate being girly. I am an "au natural" kind of a lady, and nothing represents that better than my fuzzy thighs.
13. Because I don’t give a f*ck.
I do not give a f*ck about anything, so would I ever give a f*ck about shaving my legs?
14. Because nothing is permanent, and that is just a fact.
Life ends. We all die. If it’s not permanent, I’m not going to deal with it. A lot of things only have temporary fixes.
So, why even bother? Just like leg hair, your problems are just going to come back and be prickly and uncomfortable. I’m not dealing with that.
15. Because I don’t like to let go of things.
I’m a bit of hoarder. I don’t want to shave away anything and let it go down the drain.
16. Because I’m never quite ready to make a commitment.
I have commitment issues. I’d rather not agree to stick to anything and see it through. My hairy legs are a good indication of this.
17. Because I just don’t have my life together that much.
I’m too lazy to do something 100 percent. Even something as basic as grooming is going to take a backseat to "OITNB."
18. Because I have other sh*t to do.
Wherever I am, I’ll always have something better to do. Shaving my legs is not even on the list. I have places to be.
19. Because I’d rather bleed emotions than actually bleed.
Nobody wants scars.
20. Because I’m sharp enough without a razor.
I have a strong wit and can put any kind of tool aside. I don’t need a razor to cut you deep.
21. Because razors are expensive, and I’d rather have a cocktail.
I’m broke. My unshaved legs represent not only my extreme laziness but also my extremely empty bank account. This just shows where my priorities are.
22. Because I don’t need to do anything to feel sexy.
I’m sexy enough in my own skin, hair and all, flaws and all. I don’t need to shave to feel beautiful. I don’t need to do anything to feel beautiful.
23. Because I don't do anything half-assed.
If I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. So, that means either shaving every hair or not shaving at all. Guess which one sounds like me?
24. Because not everything needs to be controlled.
I prefer to just let things ride (and grow). Not every little thing needs to be maintained and fussed over. Just let the chips fall where they may and stop worrying so much.