The Forgotten LDR: 20 Accepted Truths Of Having Estranged Parents

by Hanna Mallette

For some people, factors such as work or divorce separate them from parents or guardians for considerable lengths of time.

I’ve had a long-distance relationship with my father my entire life. I would see him every two or three weeks, since his job requires him to constantly travel.

For children of divorce, certain circumstances may also prohibit or limit them from seeing their mothers or fathers as regularly as they wish.

Perhaps their long-distance parents remarried into other families, or they can only see some parents on weekends.

It’s not always your parent’s fault, but sometimes, you can’t help but feel resentment and frustration toward a life without your mother or father.

If there are several hours and hundreds of miles between you and your long-distance parent, you can probably relate to these 20 truths:

1. When you finally get to see your long-distance parent after several weeks, you cherish every priceless moment together.

You aren't able to create memories often, so the time is precious.

2. The constant distance has managed to create an awkward atmosphere, and your time together is uneasy.

3. After spending quality time with your distanced parent, watching your mother or father leave, or leaving your mother or father, breaks your heart.

4. But at the same time, you’re used to your parent's schedule, and you always see it coming.

5. Your parent's coming and going is something you’ve become both accustomed and numb to. This is how it’s always been, and how it always will be.

6. The constant distance hasn’t allowed you to be as close with your parent as you wish. There are plenty of things you still don’t know about your distanced parent, and you sometimes wonder what you don’t know.

7. At times, you become angry with the circumstances, but you’re forced to accept it’s beyond your and your parent's control.

8. You try to fill the inconsistent vacancy your parent leaves in your life with different people and hobbies, but your mother or father is impossible to replace.

9. Sometimes, distance is for the better. Maybe you don’t always get along with your long-distance parent, and seeing him or her every day would be detrimental to your relationship.

10. You feel terrible when your parent reaches out to you, but you’re swamped with work and too busy to catch up.

11. Your parent's absence may affect you in ways that aren't completely obvious. You might have underlying dependency issues, but you might also manage other long-distance relationships effortlessly.

12. You wonder how your parent's absence affects your other family members.

13. When you’re faced with problems, your parent will (inevitably) not always be there to help you. Even if your parent is a phone call away, it’s not the same as having him or her face-to-face.

14. You get jealous of people who live in a classic nuclear family structure that allows them to see their parent(s) every day.

15. Your long-distance parent has missed plenty of milestones in your life, and the thought never fails to strike a chord within.

16. Between your parent's work life and personal life, you sometimes wonder where you fit in his or her priorities.

17. From time to time, you worry about your parent's health and/or safety. If your parent falls ill, you feel guilty for not being there to care for him or her.

18. When you become sick or injured, you’re disappointed when your parent isn't around to care for you and/or keep you company.

19. Every now and then, your parent will send you something special to let you know that he or she is thinking about you. It may relate to a common interest or inside joke, and you miss your parent even more.

20. While having a long-distance relationship with a parent is usually an unfavorable situation, you understand unconditional love knows no boundaries or distance.