5 Truths You Need To Accept If You Want To Be Happy In Your 30s

by Rosey Baker

Being happy in your 30s is actually really easy.

In fact, it wasn't until I turned 30 that I knew what being happy even meant.

In my 20s, happiness was an uphill struggle, always an attempt to finally gain some semblance of control over my life.

But in my 30s, I've realized happiness is the result of accepting some basic, hard-to-swallow truths.

Here are five truths you need to accept if you want to happy in your 30s:

1. Nobody needs you.

You might believe that by putting the needs of others before your own, you will get some future reward.

You might think that by keeping your feelings to yourself, you are being considerate of the feelings of others (as if they need you to handle their emotional environment for them).

The truth is, nobody — not one single adult, regardless of their circumstance — needs you. You need yourself.

So, take care of yourself, and the universe will take care of the rest.

2. Not everyone is the same.

I mean sure, we're all one. We are all part of a collective consciousness, but we are all very different.

I'm not just talking about languages or customs, either. I'm talking about our soul purpose or direction on this Earth, assuming that's a thing.

Much of my frustration in my life has been directed at people who don't seem to need to do an ounce of self-searching to make millions, to buy a house or to find a partner.

They step on others to get ahead, and they get away with it without remorse.

Meanwhile, circumstances in my life have forced me to devote HOURS to therapy just to become self-aware enough to live a happy existence. I haven't even reached the point where I can get ahead on a material level.

Some people didn't come into this lifetime with spiritual development as their main focus, but that doesn't mean they won't grow spiritually.

It just means it's not what's directing their path, and THAT IS OK.

3. Your parents were just people who had kids.

My mom had me when she was 27 years old.

When I was 27 years old, I was sleeping with a guy who had a fedora collection and woke up every morning to check the rating on his IMDB page.

I spent a lot of my 20s bemoaning how "terrible" my parents were and how I was so fucked up because of them.

Then, one day it hit me.

So what? So what if your parents weren't perfect? So what if childhood was a game and you lost?

Are you going to lose at adulthood by whining for a do-over?

No, you're going to learn to be the parent to yourself that you wish you'd had back then, and you're going to win.

4. You don't need to earn love to deserve love.

If you're like me, you're attracted to men who are obsessed with their work and are aloof because your dad slept at his office and walked 10 feet ahead of you in public.

Just me?

OK, but you did have parents who made you feel like you had to earn their love in some way, right? Anyone?

Well, the point is this: You don't have to earn anyone's love. You deserve it because you exist.

If you find yourself with anyone who makes you feel like you have to act a certain way or be someone other than who you are to get their love or affection, you might need to remind yourself of this truth.

I know I still do.

5. You are exactly where you're meant to be.

I used to think this was something people told themselves instead of working to improve their lives.

It's actually not.

You might have goals you haven't yet achieved that you're still working toward, but you're exactly where you're supposed to be.

This is true even if where you are is "the wrong place," and you know it. Hell, it's true even if you are in what is supposed to be "the right place," and it feels wrong.

Regardless of what you think, you are on a path leading to your own "best," to a life beyond your wildest dreams (as long as you allow it).

And the only reason it feels shitty now is because you don't know how dope the ending is.

I prefer to think of this truth as absolute because, well, it's cheaper than a Prozac prescription.