Tie Dye Or Die: 25 Signs You Were Raised By Hippie Parents

by Sam Farmer

As a member of the Millennial generation, there is a good chance that by the time of your birth, the people who raised you retired their bell bottoms and Woodstock daydreams for the pursuits of parenthood.

Although your parents adopted business casual attire for the workplace, you may have resurrected a floral frock during childhood games of dress up or even spotted a lonely tie-dye t-shirt at the bottom of the laundry basket.

While your friends worshipped pop stars who polluted the radio with mediocre one-hit-wonders, you were obsessing over the musical genius of Jimi Hendrix, the Beatles and the Nirvana albums that filled you with warm and fuzzy feelings of rebellion.

These were also the albums you stole from none other than your mom and dad.

In essence, despite your parents’ best attempts to hide evidence from the hippie subculture that previously permeated their lives, you always knew your folks were a little different.

The emergence of grunge was accepted in your household, like an edgy tribute to a preceding revolution. The boring people who insisted that you ate your organic vegetables and went to school were also exceptionally cooler than any of your friends’ parents.

Despite being sheltered from the elation of Nickelodeon and Lunchables, you were given a vibrant childhood of art and exploration. In essence, being the offspring of punk-hippie hybrids ultimately served you well.

With age, you may have begun to live vicariously through your parents’ stories from eras that proceeded you and maybe even developed an identity reflecting the times of peace, love and insurgency.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, here are a few more signs grunge hippies raised you:

1. The recent outbreak of measles poses a true threat to your unvaccinated self.

2. You have never experienced the joy of finding a toy in your Happy Meal. In fact, you have never experienced the joy of having a Happy Meal as a dinner option.

3. When you don’t recycle, it isn’t only Mother Nature who makes you feel awful about yourself.

4. Juicing is kid stuff. Literally, you were juicing as a child.

5. You may have, at one point, cuddled a Grateful Dead teddy bear.

6. There is absolutely no shame in wearing hand-me-down clothing.

7. Camping is one of the few activities that hasn’t lost its luster since your childhood. (Although, you may have swapped s’mores for whiskey shots.)

8. You know who Keith Haring is.

9. Whether or not it was by choice, you have been a vegetarian for a period of time and it really wasn’t that bad.

10. You may have been riding a bicycle since before you knew how to walk.

11. Having “the talk” with your parents was a little too casual.

12. At some point, your parents supported you for exhibiting freedom of expression at school, even though it may have landed you in the principal’s office.

13. You miss just about every reference to cable cartoons from the 90s. Where is Ren? What’s a Stimpy?

14. Although cable was an unnecessary luxury, organic produce was not.

15. Your parents still have better music libraries than you do.

16. Getting caught smoking pot for the first time wasn’t a huge deal. (You may have even lit up with your parents by now.)

17. Going to the doctor often meant your chiropractor, acupuncturist or homeopath.

18. Your first crush was Courtney or Kurt. (And let’s not forget Bowie or Jennifer Connelly in the Labyrinth)

19. You learned a colorful variety of curse words when Bush (senior or junior) was in office.

20. Somehow, you always owned a lava lamp.

21. It astounds you that there are people who have never tried tofu.

22. You can hum "The Dark Side of the Moon" in its entirety.

23. Your parents are still holding on to some of the horrendous “art” you made in elementary school.

24. You have an ironic appreciation for "That '70s Show."

25. You have a genuine enjoyment for "Almost Famous."