The Nation's Capital is not an easy place to live. Sure, it has its perks: loads of security; three airports; one really big, famous park; a neighbor of presidential stature.
But, being a Washington, DC resident requires a special set of skills, too.
If you love politics, embrace the best and worst of all four seasons, enjoy cozy apartments with high rent and have a certain degree of patience, you'll fit in just fine.
Most of us are proud to call this pseudo-state our home. It's a vibrant, youthful city where it's impossible to run out of things to do (I mean, all 17 Smithsonian Museums are free).
We carry our Washington, DC drivers licenses with pride, despite residents of the rest of the country questioning whether they're fake.
However, there are a handful of people, places and things in this city that tend to make people of the District really, really angry:
1. People who claim to be political "independents"
Here? No way. Partisanship spreads like the plague. DC is home to the most politically active campuses in the country, Capitol Hill, the headquarters of hundreds of activist groups and more political organizations than a girl can count.
Even if your career doesn't intersect with politics, when policy wonks constantly surround you, it's hard not to pick sides.
I'm all for Democrats and Republicans working together, but if there's one thing DC doesn't have, it's independents.
2. Middle schoolers on field trips to the capital
You can spot these kids a mile away. They're the ones sporting CIA baseball caps, neon DC sweatshirts and drawstring backpacks. They also never listen to their chaperones... ever.
Locals definitely have to bite their tongues as they weave around these little troublemakers on public transportation or around the city.
3. People who stand on the wrong side of the escalators
This is an important lesson for anyone traveling to DC who doesn't want to upset the delicate ecosystem of the morning commute. Stand on the right; walk on the left.
This handy little trick allows busy professionals to zip past you and get to work on time, and it keeps those who operate at a more leisurely pace out of harm's way.
We don't blame you for wanting to stand still during your escalator ride, but please, do it over there.
4. Summer interns
Dear summer interns, I'm sorry, but it's true: We don't like you.
First of all, summer interns make it much harder for us local college students to find our own internships. We're not used to this kind of competition during the fall and spring semesters.
We may even have to settle for something unpaid. Gross.
To make matters worse, when they get here, summer interns are constantly causing trouble and getting lost. Locals prepare for a sudden spike of 20-somethings asking where the Metro is going, how to find the monuments, or the worst: "Where's the best place to go out tonight?"
I think I speak for all District locals when I say, "Interns, brush up on your research." Only then will we be able to happily co-exist.
1. The National Mall during cherry blossom season
Tourists, tourists, tourists! They're everywhere. The cherry blossoms tend to bloom right around the start of springtime, just when Washington, DC locals want to emerge from their winter hibernation and enjoy the sunshine.
Tourists often crowd the sidewalks, ask us to stop and take their pictures or need help with directions.
Although it's hard to be in a bad mood when the sun is shining, visiting the National Mall during cherry blossom season definitely requires a lot of patience.
2. Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport
The lines are always long. The dining options were sub-par, but now they're all under construction.
Also, there is still that fight over which name we're supposed to use to refer to "the" airport. Reagan? National? DCA? Regardless of its name, the airport makes us never want to leave DC by plane. (Maybe that's the point?)
3. U Street
If you enjoy waiting in long lines outside of bars, struggling to hail a cab and strangers stealing your Uber, then U Street is totally the place for you.
If you're like the rest of us, then heading here on a weekend night is close to sheer torture. In the District, the cost of a good time is enough to make all of us a little bit angry.
4. The Metro
Does it ever work? The life of a Washington, DC local is filled with frustrating train delays, crowded cars, manspreading and — the worst — random and unpredictable stops when you're in the middle of a dark, probably rat-infested, underground tunnel.
Stuck riding in one of the older trains? Pop in your headphones because it's about to be a long ride.
1. The presidential motorcade
Living in the same neighborhood as the president is cool, except when his many cars need to access your street.
The motorcade has been known to wake us up in the morning, add dollars to our cab fares and be a general nuisance after the first couple of sightings.
Sorry, Mr. President, but we've got places to be, too!
2. Government shutdown
It's all fun and games until the city stops picking up your trash. Much of the District's day-to-day maintenance and staff are linked to funds from the federal government that freeze when Congress fails to, you know, do its job.
The happy hour deals will only entertain us for so long! After the novelty fades away, government shutdowns are a huge pain in DC's butt.