The 10 Laws To Catching A Cab In NYC

by Julian Sonny

Catching a cab in New York City is not exactly the easiest task in the world. There are rules to this sh*t. People can spend upwards of 30 minutes looking for someone to pick them up when, if they really knew how to execute this properly, this could be cut to just seconds!

But how can you ensure that you aren't wasting half of your day looking for some transportation? Well, that's simple -- by following the guidelines set by some tried and true New Yorkers. In fact, there are actually 10 legitimate laws to making sure that this becomes a painless process.

From common sense to some secret tricks of the trade, you will surely be hitting your destination in no time. Just make sure you're not with two or more dudes. Be safe and happy traveling! These are the 10 laws to catching a cab in NYC.

Always go to the north side of the block

If you wait in the middle of the block, someone will cut you off. Do you really want to be that person that shoves an elderly woman out of the way to get to the cab door first? The only polite way to Debo someone for their cab is by being the first person the cab driver sees on the block.

Practice your death glare with anyone encroaching on your territory

Just like in the wild jungles of the Serengeti, completely intimidating  your competition is more than necessary to catch your cab. Typically hitting any impeding individuals with a "Yaaoooo" to catch their attention and make it clear you're there first to get a ride will do the trick.

Women always win... such as in life

It does not matter how well tailored your three piece suit is or how much money you have in your hands when it comes to catching a cab. If there is a woman idling ahead of you, cab drivers will always stop for her first. Can you blame them? We would, too. We've given up cabs for the sake of seeming chivalrous as well. There is zero ROI for the good-heartedness.

Even minorities don't like minorities

Sure, it's 2013 and we have a black president holding office, but that still does not eschew the prejudice when hailing cabs. Although the cab drivers themselves are often foreigners, they will show you no love. We're not saying that you have to be white to catch a cab, but if it's anytime past 10:00PM, your best bet is to let your white friend do the hailing.

You'll have to trick him to drive to another borough

The driver will often ask you where you're going before letting you in the cab. Your answer should always simply be "Times Square." Upon the meter starting and you'll have to feign an important call and instruct him that you'll actually be stopping in Coney Island. Sucks for him, but it's his job.

If you're with 3 other men, have them hide behind a parked car until the cab door is open

In NYC, there is one simple rule in life. Never go anywhere with more than 3 men. Do not go to the clubs, to church, to McDonald's, and certainly do not hail cabs with three other dudes. The only way to catch a cab in this case is to have the rest of the crew hide while the most presentable gentleman does the hailing.

No matter how far you're traveling, expect to pay at least 45 dollars for a black gypsy cab

You're trained not to make eye contact with the gypsy cabs as you know they're out to charge you exponential amounts. In some cases; however, it's okay to pay the premium for immediate service. Pay double and get there a little more comfortably.

There is nothing more defeating than trying to catch a cab to work past 8:30 a.m.

If you ever want to experience the most self-defeating morning of your life, then try catching a cab in the heart of the morning rush. When hit with the dilemma of whether to take the train or a cab because you're in such a rush, it is guaranteed that the trains and buses will get you there faster than unsuccessfully flagging down cabs for 60 minutes.

If worst comes to worst, road block the driver

While not the safest route to successfully hail a cab, sometimes there is no other option. If the 2 finger hail/whistle combo doesn't work, then you have no choice but to roadblock the cab. The driver won't be happy, but f*ck it, at least you'll be on time.

Always have Uber downloaded.

It's like having a condom in your back pocket. You never know how fast you're going to need to get from your location into bed. This app will help you get the best cab in the area.