Team Wasted: 10 Signs That You Definitely Drank Way Too Much Last Night
Whether you’re a seasoned blackout artist or the girl who won’t touch anything except for wine (since you discovered the disastrous things whiskey can do to a person), you have most likely reached the point of no return once or twice regarding alcohol consumption.
Liquid courage can certainly be a beautiful thing that can result in hilarious memories that make the embarrassment worth it.
Then, there are the following scenarios when you simply should not have gotten that drunk:
10. When You Wet The Bed
If this happens to you, my best advice is to keep it to yourself, or you will give your friends endless fodder for jokes. Disclaimer: After you drunkenly wet your willies once, it usually happens again (or so I’ve heard…).
9. When Your Significant Other Won’t Answer Your Calls The Next Morning And You Don’t Know Why
This is when you know you acted a f*cking fool. What could you have possibly said for 27 minutes at 4:37 in the morning that you now cannot recall?
There really is no solution to this one other than simply waiting it out and realizing that you could have skipped out on the last round of Kamikazes.
The good news is your significant other will inform you of your embarrassing shenanigans soon enough!
8. When You Wake Up Feeling Full And Don’t Even Remember Eating
You gotta love looking through your pantry after a night of guzzling alcohol only to find that at some point, you finished your shredded cheese, cereal and jalapeno potato chips.
You tell yourself that those were all finished at separate times, but who are you kidding?
7. When You Feel Petrified To Check Your Bank Statement
In all seriousness, spending all of your income while intoxicated is one of the most foolish things you can do.
Bring cash out with you, and leave your card at home so you stop yourself from doing something especially stupid.
6. When Your Phone, Card, ID, Watch, Cash, Car And Keys Are All MIA
Unless you were robbed, you will have no one to blame except for yourself and your undying love of booze.
If each of us added up the sum total of our misplaced belongings due to drinking, we’d all be cringing with regret.
5. When You Have 23 Peculiar New Snapchat Friends, Contacts or Instagram Followers
Social-media-crazed Generation-Y has made it commonplace to replace actual contact information with social media account information.
While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, your lowered inhibitions, impaired judgment and general drunk goggles might have been a little too lenient about with whom you should share your personal information.
4. When A Bone Is Broken
If you discover a broken or fractured bone upon waking up after a night of drinking, you unquestionably took it too far. You just need to wrap that thing up and wallow in the misery of your own making until you can control yourself, drunkie.
3. When Your Swollen, Drunk-Crying Eyes Look Like Golf Balls
We’ve all been victim to the lack of controlling emotions that coincides with alcohol consumption. For some people, drinking is synonymous with crying.
Some people cry when they see a friend after a long hiatus, if a drink is spilled on their outfit and if they go home and choose to watch "The Notebook."
I fully condone a little drunk crying every now and then, but if your eyes are swollen up like golf balls and no one wants to drink with you, work on it.
2. When You Simply Cannot Leave Your Room
There are few things in life stronger than the lure of food while nursing a killer hangover, but if you’re too ashamed to look in the mirror or exit the four walls of your bedroom, you definitely should not have gotten that drunk.
1. When You’re In Jail
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