Speak Your Mind: 6 Things We All Think But Fail To Say Out Loud

by Caitlin Jill Anders

We’ve all felt it: the feeling of desperately wanting to say something out loud but knowing you shouldn’t. We’re all guilty of having thoughts that directly contradict what we vocalize.

We’re only human.

We all have thoughts and opinions we figure we probably shouldn’t share (although, maybe we should).

In fact, there are a few common, relatively harmless phrases so many of us wish we could shout from the hills and, instead, keep them safely inside our heads.

Maybe, we should say what we mean, starting with these simple declarations:

1. "I am not going to fall in love with you just because I saw you naked."

Your penis is not that special.

Yes, it's a very blunt statement, I am well aware. But, your body is not that special — it works the same way as everyone else’s.

Men (and I’m sure women do it, to0) tend to think that once they’ve hooked up with someone, they must sever all contact, or the person will surely want to marry them.

They think no one knows how to be casual, and therefore, it makes sense to excommunicate all people with whom they don't want to share serious relationships. This tendency is annoying.

My dears, you are not God's gift to women.

You, I'm sure, are a wonderful person, but this is not "Hey Arnold" and I won't build a shrine to you in my closet.

If we hooked up and that’s all you want, we can still share this planet without having to pretend we live on different planets -- that is not how grownups should conduct themselves.

When we’re hooking up and it seems like I'm enjoying you, it's because I am — you, as a person. Although I'm sure we would make cute babies, at this point, doing so is not my goal.

Your body is just a body; it’s not much different from everyone else’s. It does not make me want to tie you down and keep you forever. Shocking, I know, but I’d appreciate it if you could please adjust your behavior accordingly.

2. "I'm trying my best."

We hold the world to high standards, and these standards extend to everyone who exists in the world.

People expect us to constantly be on, knowing what we’re doing and getting everything right.

We hold ourselves to high standards, too, so it only makes sense that we would have these standards for everyone else.

Sometimes, though, people expect too much. In those moments, I just want to scream, “I’m doing the best I can,” because it’s true.

I, along with everyone else in this crazy world, am just trying my best. I’m doing what I think is right, and I’m busting my ass to try and get by every day, just like we all are. We, as a whole, are trying our best, and I think we all forget that sometimes.

When someone makes me feel stupid or worthless for something silly, I just want to tell him or her I’m trying my best, just like he or she is, and leave it at that.

It’s a reminder we all need to hear.

3. "It's not all about you."

We can all be a little selfish. We all only have one life, so it’s sometimes difficult to see beyond it. I get it. Sometimes, though, I don’t.

When people push each other on the street, don't say excuse me, snap at others for no reason or act rudely toward strangers, it's frustrating.

Sometimes, I so wish I could remind everyone it’s not always about us. There are other people living in this world who deserve a little consideration, too, don’t you think?

When there’s so much happening in our lives, it’s easy to get wrapped up in ourselves. We’re all we talk about to others, sometimes because we’re all we think about. We don’t mean to be self-centered, but often, we are.

Wouldn’t it be great if every so often, someone could say to us all, “Hey, remember, it’s not all about you.” Sure, people might be pissed at first, but if they took a minute to think about it, they’d probably realize, “Hey… they’re right.”

4. "Yes, I was checking you out."

Recently, I heard someone say, “I hope your day is as nice as your butt.” The world has no idea how much I wish I could say things like that to people.

And, yes, I know, women get told things like this all the time. The way women get heckled and hit on is very different than what I’m talking about.

Saying, “Hey, baby, nice legs,” or “Hey, honey, you look fine,” is much different than saying to someone, “Your smile really brightened my day,” or “You’re very attractive. I hope you have a fantastic day.”

If someone said something like this to me, I would not get offended because it’s genuine.

It’s a simple, innocent way to let someone know he or she made your day just a little bit happier. Yes, I was staring at you because you’re very attractive, and I’m sorry if it was creepy. If it was socially acceptable to say all of this, then maybe it wouldn’t seem so creepy.

5. "I'm not actually sorry."

As much as we might not want to admit it, it’s true: We regularly give out apologies we don’t mean. So often, people apologize for things they weren’t at fault for doing, but since they feel wrong for whatever reason, they own up to the "problem."

We say sorry and don’t mean it at all, which is a shame. It’s a shame we use such a genuine word so falsely. It taints the meaning.

When someone makes us feel guilty, we’ve learned to just apologize the guilt away. Really, though, sometimes I wish I could say, “Actually, you know what? No. I’m not sorry because I have no reason to be sorry.”

6. "Can you just kiss me, please?"

Good God, so many times I’ve been hanging out with someone, talking, avoiding the feels, and then all of a sudden, all I wanted to do was kiss the person's face.

We keep our feelings bottled up because we don’t know how other people might react. Sometimes, we need to be bold.

Sometimes, we need to say what’s on our minds, even if it’s not the “socially acceptable” thing to do. Sometimes, we need to just say, “Oh, just shut up and kiss me.”

Stop being afraid and just say what’s on your mind.