It’s Always The Sh*ttiest People Who Worry About The Most Sh*t

by Lauren Martin

The only person worried about sh*t is the person spreading it…

I have a belief that the best way to judge people is to watch how they judge themselves.

If they’re always worried about what others are thinking of them, then they’re clearly not thinking well of others.

Because if you live your life treating others the way you want to be treated, why would you expect anyone to treat you otherwise? If you’re a good person, why would you expect to be surrounded by bad ones?

I don’t believe the chips fall where they may; they fall where you throw them. If you’re acting like a total dick, you’re going to be worried about others acting that way.

If you’re always judging others, you’re going to assume others are judging you.

There are two types of people in this world: those who care and those who don’t.

I know from experience those who care the most are also those who sh*t the most (metaphorically speaking).

Because you only know what cruelty others are capable of when you’re cruel yourself. You’re only worried about what everyone’s saying behind your back when you’re going behind others.

When you’re a good person, when you mind your own business and pay attention to yourself, you just don’t think like that.

You don’t assume people are talking about you, judging you or looking at you because they have no reason to.

You mind your business, and they mind theirs. If they are judging you, you don’t even realize it. That’s the sign of a strong person.

So if you have a jealous lover, a paranoid friend or your own neuroses about people, maybe you should take some time and figure out where all the sh*t’s really starting from.

If you’re worried about getting cheated on, it’s because you cheat

The only people ever worried about being cheated on are the ones who cheat.

They’re worried because they know what they do behind their significant other’s back. Hence, they assume their partner must be doing the same.

If you’ve never cheated, you don’t think about cheating — you don’t see the same scenarios or opportunities for it.

You don’t assume when they’re not with you that they must be with someone else. You trust people the same way they trust you.

If you’re in a relationship with a jealous lover, you should probably start getting jealous yourself.

If you’re worried about what people think, it’s because you judge others

When you don’t spend your time thinking about everyone else, you don’t worry about how everyone’s thinking of you.

It’s one of those things in which the more time you spend on yourself, the less you spend on everyone else.

You don’t have to love everyone, but you also don’t have to fall down every time someone doesn’t love you. There are too many people to worry about everyone’s opinion of you.

The sooner you stop giving a sh*t about how others see you, the sooner you’ll realize they’re not looking at you at all.

If you’re worried about gossip, it’s because you’re the f*cking queen of it

The only people worried about what others say behind their backs are the ones always waiting to talk behind yours.

When you’re spreading sh*t, you’re constantly worried about getting some on you. But if you keep your mouth closed, don’t say anything about anyone, there’s nothing to come back and bite you in ass.

When you’re worried about what’s coming out of everyone’s mouth, then you’re not paying enough attention to what’s coming out of your own.

If you’re worried about embarrassing yourself, it’s because you embarrass others

If you’re the person calling out everyone’s awkward moments and praying on people's weak sides, you’re obviously more immune to accidents and missteps.

If you laugh every time someone trips, you’re going to look around for laughter next time you trip.

When you’re not the assh*le who makes fun of everyone, you’re more likely to laugh off your mistakes than look around for scorn.

When your best friend trips and can’t shake it off, it’s probably because he or she has never helped someone after a fall.

If you’re worried about other people’s sh*t, it’s because you don’t want to look at your own

Anyone who is paying attention to your life, your drama, your details is just refusing to acknowledge his or her own.

Anyone who preys on your mistakes and your shortcomings doesn't know how to feed him or herself without tearing down others.

There’s only one person you should be examining, and that’s you. If people give you a hard time, bask in it — because they clearly find you more interesting than they’ve ever found themselves.