In non-depressing news this week, Kensington Palace representatives announced that Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge are expecting a second child. Yay! More maternity outfits on Pinterest!
To put it mildly, the next royal baby has a lot to look forward to. Not only is (s)he the unquestionable winner of the lucky sperm club, but also (s)he will claim the most coveted sibling position: the second child.
Being born a second child is the best spot to have in a family unit. It’s like winning the golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory, only it’s filled with waterfalls made of special privileges and you don’t need to prove your righteousness to inherit everything -- your parents gladly give it you.
You are the token child. While all the other siblings have certain responsibilities -- like doubling as the babysitter or taking out the trash -- you have absolutely no familial pressures because your parents chilled out after baby number one.
Just look at the other royal second child, Prince Harry. Dates models, drives racecars and gets away with pretty much anything -- all while being a ginger. He’s not just riding the second child train, he’s chugging it.
Simply put, the second child has it made. Here are seven reasons why:
1. You have an edge
Having watched your older sibling breakout in pimples and fail Spanish, you know what’s in store for you and can prepare accordingly. You have an advantage in life that takes other people years to cultivate: You can discern between the bullsh*t before everybody else.
Because you know what’s coming and what to expect, you knew where you should go after the school dance, which teachers reused the same assignments and what to do when your voice cracks in front of your dream girl.
2. You’re mellow yellow
Your parents chilled out the second time around. Scraping your knee while sliding into home wasn’t as big of a deal, so you learned to take things in stride as well.
Your parents didn’t place as much pressure on you once they realized the first one made it out okay. When they caught you drinking their bottles of alcohol before a Sweet 16, they knew how to handle it well. And it usually resulted in a more lenient punishment.
3. You know how to scheme
You’re not accustomed to everything being handed to you, so you know how to fight for what you want. You knew what excuses to use (“But INSERT OLDER SIBLING’S NAME got to do it!”) and how to maneuver your parents (“Let’s buy a boom box, we can all share it!”).
You saw it before you had to live through it, and that makes you stronger.
4. You’re inherently cool
Your family doesn’t waste time filtering themselves around you and therefore you’ve always been privy to what’s going on in the “real world.” You are the cool one of your friends because you break all the good gossip that you picked up at home.
Think about Lip from “Shameless,” the second eldest of the Gallagher clan, who is also the savviest, smartest and sexiest. No coincidence there.
5. You reap all the benefits
If your older sib wasn’t a total f*ck up, chances are you have his or her success to fall back on. Need a place to crash? The older one has a spare couch. Want a car your senior year? You can subsidize your older sib’s. The hand-me-down sweaters are pretty sweet, too.
When the eldest throws parties, you can flirt with all the hot older kids on your own turf. People think what you’re doing is always cute in comparison to your older sibling who needs to get serious and get it together.
6. You have less responsibility
You’re able to be free-spirited and go your own path because you aren’t the sole decision-maker. While your older sibling played babysitter, you ran around the house.
All the teachers in school automatically liked you because your older sibling set a precedent. You’re close enough to have a say, but you’re removed enough to still get away with everything.
7. You are wise
You know what not to do as evidenced by your older sibling’s mistakes. And they help us out along the way by filtering mom and dad’s best advice.
You have all the makings to be the best of the bunch, and indeed you are.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It