15 Realities Of Being A Hot Mess And Loving It

by Shannon Allen

The Mess: We all have at least one in our friend group.

This person often gets a bad rap for being sloppy, reckless, emotional and even maniacal at times.But, The Mess is also down for anything.

The Mess is spontaneous, resourceful, open-minded, creative and gives new meaning to the phrase YOLO.

I am unabashedly “The Mess” of my friend group, and here are 15 signs that you are, too:

1. You show up to brunch in last night's outfit and makeup.

Your friends know not to talk too loudly when you’re still wearing last night's five-inch heels and rocking your largest pair of sunglasses to cover the mascara smears on your unwashed face.

“I’ll have your bottomless mimosa special and the largest cup of black coffee you serve. Thank you!”

Your friends anxiously wait to hear about your crazy adventure from the previous night because you always have the best stories.

2. You’ve replaced your debit card three times in the last year.

No, your debit card wasn't stolen. You just left it, along with your dignity, in a cab last night.

3. You have more nicknames in your phone than real numbers.

Who is “Jake Cute Butt,” “Steve Finance Douche” and “Butterface Jon?” We may never know.

It's even worse when you get a text from a sans-name number that says, “So great meeting you last night!” You reply with, “Sorry, lost all my numbers. Who is this again?”

FYI: No one in 2015 ever loses contacts; everyone is on the Cloud. Nice try, though.

4. Your local bartender knows your first and last name and upon your arrival,he greets you with your favorite cocktail.

“Whiskey ginger coming right up!”

Your drink is always in a water glass instead of a cocktail glass and it costs half the price. Sometimes it’s even free.

You're his favorite regular and the resident "fun girl" of the bar.

You’re also the person he goes to whenever he needs to test out new shot concoctions.

5. The first words out of your mouth the morning after a night out are, “What stupid sh*t did I do last night?”

You wake up to texts from your friends that say, “Good morning, sunshine! How are you feeling today?”

Oh, no. Please don’t tell me I danced on tables, tripped in the middle of the street and drunk dialed my ex 12 times last night."

6. Your friends know your address by heart because they are always putting you in cabs or Ubers at the end of the night.

They also know to tell your driver the quickest way to get there and instruct him to make sure you have your shoes when you exit the car.

7. Your friends don’t ever have to ask you if you’re down for something because you’re down for everything.

"Want to do the Polar Plunge in January?"


"Want to go downtown and get walk-in tattoos?"


"Want to call off work, rent a car and drive into oblivion?"

Do you even have to ask?

8. They could fill an entire book with your bad date stories.

No, but seriously, you’re writing a book about it. It’s half done.

You put yourself out there so fearlessly that you have had your heart broken in 17 different ways. However, you'll never let a poor experience ruin your future dating prospects.

Bad dates are just more fodder for your book!

Plus, they make the good dates that much better.

9. You never know where your keys, phone and wallet are at any given time.

The Mess is perpetually scatterbrained. You're already 20 minutes late to your best friend's birthday party, and you have no clue where your essentials are.

Every time you leave the house, you end up tearing apart your room because you can't find your damn keys.

You're known for being that person who's talking on the phone with a friend and screaming, "Where is my phone?"

Your phone is in your hands, your keys are in your coat pocket and your wallet is in your purse. But, you look every other place in your apartment before you realize this.

10. You’re known to host a pre-game before the party even happens.

The party never really starts until The Mess gets there, so why not just host a party before the party?

Your bar is always stocked and your fridge is always full. The memories people make at your pre-games might just be better than the parties themselves.

11. You're the shoulder to cry on because you've cried on many shoulders.

When your friend is going through a breakup, you show up with a bottle of wine, two pints of ice cream and a lighter to burn all the things that remind her of her ex.

When your friend gets let go from his job, you go over to commiserate with a bottle of scotch and help him put together a profile.

When your best friend loses her childhood dog, you spend all day in bed with her in pajamas, giggling and taking her mind off of her grief.

You are always the one who needs help, so you know how imperative it is to help other friends when they need you the most.

12. You're always "on."

The Mess has endless energy. You can stay up for 36 hours at a time if it means we can experience something new, different or fulfilling.

You can smile even when you're profoundly sad. You can laugh even when your friend makes the dumbest of jokes.

You can turn the energy of a lifeless party around just by being yourself. You are always "on." You give life to every party, gathering or situation.

13. Everyone wants to be your friend.

You just left a party with 14 new Facebook friends, seven new Twitter followers, 10 Instagram followers and five phone numbers.

The Mess knows who she is and is not afraid to put it on display. That kind of energy is infectious and in turn, everyone wants to be a part of your world.

You love new friends, new ideas and new experiences. Your philosophy is always, "the more, the merrier."

14. You're hopelessly optimistic.

You can see the best in every situation. You've been through it all, so you know that even in the worst of times, some good can always come from it.

If any of your friends need a dose of sunshine, they call you up to talk.

15. You love the hardest and fiercest out of your friend group.

The Mess is unapologetically exhausting and energetic. Yes, The Mess loves fun, but she also loves to love.

You are the type of person who will run up and give your friend a bear hug when you know she needs that extra dose of affection.

You're the kind of girl people dance with at the bar, clink their glasses with, throw their arms around and laugh with when you do something stupid or reckless.

You love your friends no matter what they do and whenever they mess up, you're there, and you never judge them.