Why Your Mother Deserves Your Affection, Despite Your Differences


My relationship with my mom has never been easy.

Growing up, I had friends who had incredible friendships with their mothers, some who didn’t have relationships with them at all and some who fell within the perceivable middle ground, like me.

The thing is, my mom and I are very different people. I grew up a fierce tomboy operating under a "daddy’s girl" mindset. I had far more obvious traits inherited from my father than my mother.

I was, without a doubt, my father’s daughter, and my mom always knew this. She often made the joke, “If I didn’t give birth to you, I wouldn’t believe you were mine.”

As a result, there were many trying times in which my mom and I looked back at each other with a feeling of disconnect; we didn’t always understand each other. In fact, we often didn’t understand each other at all.

But, this has never meant we loved each other any less. She is my mother; I am her daughter, and there is an undeniable bond keeping us together, despite our differences.

With that said, every Mother’s Day, I find myself facing the same dilemma when searching for an appropriate card. Most of them I find to be too cheesy or idealistic.

Mother’s Day is about appreciating your mother for everything she is; I don’t want her to think I’m insincere, right?

I always want to find a card that can encompass our love for each other, while also being real about the fact that things aren’t always entirely picture-perfect.

If you ask me, your relationship with your mother has nothing to do with how easy or friendly things always are.

Being a mother isn’t meant to be easy, and as a result, being a mother’s child isn’t always perceived as easy, either.

The relationship is complicated. Our love is complicated.

I remember nights of screaming fights; hell, sometimes they still happen. I remember tears, and I remember feeling like life was unfair and we would never get along.

I remember thinking you were insane and I remember you thinking the same about me. I remember times I broke your heart, and I remember times you broke mine.

There have even been times we nearly hated each other, but would never say the words.

Yet, regardless of that, we share a bond that is unbreakable. It doesn’t matter that we don’t always have much in common, we both get under each other’s skin or we often don’t see eye to eye.

You are my mother; you gave me life and raised me into the woman I am today, and for that, I will forever be at a loss for the right words to thank you.

There is no greater responsibility in life than the one bestowed upon someone with the decision to raise a child.

You become entirely responsible for a life other than your own, and it is a life that has suddenly become far more important than your own.

You will face countless sleepless nights, tender moments, tears, heartbreak and a lifetime of challenges. There will be moments your child will stare back at you with smiling eyes and love in his or her heart, and moments he or she will push back at you with hurt and anger.

There will be moments you question everything you are doing.

When you make the decision to become a parent, you acknowledge the fact your life will never again be the same.

In many ways, Mom, you gave up your life to me. You made the ultimate sacrifice; I know that.

You knew I would be challenging at times, and my stubborn, out-spoken nature made sure of that. But, you took that chance with me.

You laugh at my twisted humor, push me to be better, worry for my health when I forget to and always give me the honest advice I need when I ask for it.

When I’m hurting, I know you hurt, too. When I experience success, I know you are happy for me.

Of course, you and I are far from perfect. We both have flaws and shortcomings, but we do our best to accept each other for who we are -- that's what mothers and their children do.

You aren’t my best friend; you are my mom. You are in a category of your own, one which could not be filled by anyone else.

I love you in a way only I can, and I hope you never forget that amidst the harder days. I hope you remember, when something good happens or even something devastating, you will always be one of the first people I call.

I will always lean on you in some way and trust you to be there, as I will be there for you when you need it.

I want to thank you, not for being the perfect mother, but being my mother to the best of your abilities. I want to thank you for loving me, even during the moments I am hardest to love.

I want you to know I understand how hard parenting can be, and I am thankful for every effort you have made to lead me in the right direction.

I want you to know I will always be your daughter, and you will always be my mother and our relationship will to continue to persist past any challenges, fights and every passing year.

Of course, we might not talk every day, and there may be times we can’t even be in the same room as each other, but I will never abandon the need I have for you in my life.

Our relationship is real and so are our problems, but that is the way it should be.

We were meant to, sometimes, infuriate each other and do things differently. The nature of our relationship doesn't depend on easy cohesion, but, instead, on the way in which we persevere with love and trust in our hearts.

I will always appreciate you for the woman you are and the effect you have had on the woman I am today.

More importantly, I will always love you for the mother you are and the one you have helped teach me to eventually become.