To My Ex Boss: You Tried To Make Me Feel Useless And I Feel Sorry For You

by Zareh Zurabyan

Dear First Ex Out-Of-College Job And Dr. Ex-Boss,

During my 24 months of working at this company, I learned more than I could ever ask for from many great scientists, professionals, coworkers and managers.

However, in the last nine-month period, when you were my boss, I learned other things. It probably was the most learning I have ever done.

Not of new expertise, skills, habits or other work-related experiences I learned from others, but of life. I learned how to deal with very difficult individuals, like you.

I learned that there are mean people in this world who do not care about their children, let alone their coworkers, let alone those that answer to them.

I learned that your title, educational background and financial portfolio doesn't matter; you can still be a dumbass or simply, a low-quality human being.

I grew up in a household full of scholars and professors, patents and published articles. I grew up truly respecting elders, especially those who are well-educated. However, I learned that education, intellect and wisdom are completely different things.

I learned that a PhD is just a title for a very specific, narrow field. I learned that the hard work, time, intellect and reading put toward earning that title does not necessarily translate to other parts of a person's life. You can be an amazing scientist, lawyer or broker, and at the same time, be sh*tty son, mother or coworker.

You might assume people working in research, trying to solve the alternative energy crisis would be caring people who are trying to change the world. But, I learned that sh*tty people dwell everywhere; they pop out from every corner, like cockroaches.

Contrary to cockroaches, though, these types of people do not do anything useful for the ecosystem. In fact, they cultivate enough negative energy to ruin good people's careers or even research projects that get millions of dollars of funding.

I learned that there is money involved with anything and everything, and at the end of the day, it is the only thing that matters (to a lot of people).

I learned that a lot of people never grow out of high school, no matter how old they get. Their "sophisticated" brains do not resonate on a frequency that properly outputs thoughts that portray simple concepts.

They do not understand that having good communication with another person requires effort from both parties.

Speaking your thoughts is an art form, and apparently, a lot of people do not have that skill. Many PhD students should also take a human communication course.

I also learned you cannot teach certain things to certain people, no matter how hard you try. Workers are not slaves, and a lot of companies forget that.

Then when I had my hand surgery after breaking my finger during my Muay Thai training, you did not ask me once how I felt when I came back.

You not only tried to make me seem useless in the lab because of my injury, you also tried to make me look bad to the CTO and HR by requesting a doctor's letter regarding when I could use my broken finger again, as if I was damaged goods.

Through all of the negative energy you pushed on me, I learned that I cannot allow you to affect me. I cannot let your negative reality become mine.

I learned that good people exist everywhere, mostly in smaller numbers, hidden, forming groups of their own and sticking to one another.

I learned that it is not hard to find good people at work or anywhere else. As long as you're good, you will naturally attract others who share your positive mentality, desire for growth and betterment of work and friendship.

Lastly, I learned that you are the architect of your own life, and you can sculpt whatever you want however you want. When you don't like something, change it.

When you like something, embrace it. That can be applied to work, hobbies or friends, and it works like magic.

Positivity leads to happiness. Happiness leads to enjoying life to its fullest potential and infecting others with the same mentality. So, I hope this letter will encourage my ex boss to change.

Let's simply be more kind and understanding of one another.

Photo Courtesy: Tumblr