If only we could go back to those college Halloween parties.
The nights were longer, our morals were a little looser, and the costumes were far more inappropriate for those chilly October nights.
While a good old Halloween party is still in the mix, a lot has changed since I rallied all night and skipped class all day.
My late 20s haven’t been quite as kind to me as my early ones, and I find myself trying to hold on to any shred of the younger Halloween party girl I know is still in there somewhere.
Here are five changes post-college Halloween lovers face as we enter into the adult version of the same spooky holiday:
1. The parties start a little earlier.
In college, I was early if I showed up to a party before 11 pm.
Now, I’m hoping by 11 pm, I’ve attended the party, gotten drunk and am working my way through a second glass of water to make the following day bearable.
After which, I will promptly take a cab home by midnight to Netflix and chill with myself for the rest of the evening.
I should really just go as Cinderella every year.
2. The Halloween hangover is real.
The scariest thing about Halloween is the day after, when the hangover sets in.
Hangovers are always exacerbated when they're accompanied by the terribly thick Halloween makeup you slept in and the realization your youth is slowly slipping away.
3. You wear “real” costumes.
Where I grew up, wearing a snowsuit under your Halloween costume was a real probability.
You have no idea how many Halloween photos we have where my brother and I look like really overweight pirates and princesses.
In college, I would prefer to just freeze my ass off as I walked from party to party or from club to club.
Who wants to wear a coat over that amazing costume and ruin it, right?
Now, I find myself back to my childhood ways of bulking up and choosing costumes that are more on the witty than pretty side of things.
4. There are teeny tiny trick-or-treaters.
Our college house was on a very busy trick-or-treat street.
And while I could have shut the light off and called it a night, I didn’t have the heart to shun all those eager candy seekers.
So, while we pregamed and got ready for the night's festivities, I was constantly running to the door to face the tiny goblins and witches of my neighborhood.
Now, many of my friends are the parents to these sugar-high demons, and I’m finding kids get in the way of a good Halloween bender.
5. You have a real job.
While we all agree Halloween should be a stat holiday, the sad truth is, it’s not.
Skipping class is a little different than not showing up for work.
That costume you spent three days’ worth of pay on isn’t going to fund itself.
6. Walk of shames just turn into someone wondering if you've had a nervous breakdown.
There are countless ways we can make ourselves look somewhat presentable when we have to go to work in the same clothes from the day before.
You can switch your scarf for the backup you have in your office, wear your hair up and throw on some glasses.
This isn't even remotely a possibility the day after Halloween.
I don’t have the sewing skills to turn my slutty crayon costume into a three-piece suit.
This Halloween, may your drinks continue to be potently alcoholic, your costumes offensive and your morals questionable.
That is what Halloween is about after all, right?