The 17 Days Every Person Should Have Off From Work But Doesn't

by Ashley Fern

There are most certainly those days when you wish you could call in sick to work, but you don't want to because it'll make you look like a huge baby. "Ugh, I can't come in because it's my birthday!"

Your boss will not understand and will most likely question your work ethic. He doesn't care if you're on your third day of a massive hangover. This is your livelihood; grow a pair and get to the office!

Sure, everyone gets off for Memorial Day and Labor Day and whatever bank holidays your boss is nice enough to grant. If you're really lucky, your company is one of the few that gives an additional day off if the holiday falls on a Tuesday or a Thursday, ensuring a five-day weekend. Wow! Who knew the real world could be so exciting?

While all these bank holidays are fine and dandy, there are a bunch of other days when you wish you could just skip work altogether. What are those days, you may be asking yourself? Well let's take a look...

1. The day after the Super Bowl

Whoever said food comas are not real has never watched the Super Bowl or attended a Super Bowl party. This is a day when all dietary restrictions go out the window and you get to shower yourself with beer and chicken wings.

All is great in the moment, but the next day when you have to put on pants with actual buttons, you immediately regret your antics of the previous day. Mondays are bad enough as is; going into work on a Monday after the Super Bowl is just straight up torture.

2. You just got off a plane yesterday

It doesn't matter if your flight was only two-and-a-half hours, the entire process at the airport is f*cking tiring. From dealing with incompetent security checkers -- it's a bellybutton ring that just went off, not a bomb -- to delays, to the worry that our checked bags are lost in space -- it's tiring.

Whether the trip you just went on was for business or pleasure, the next day you should not be required to step foot in an office. I mean, isn't this why they invented working from home?

3. Your birthday

No one -- I repeat, no one -- should ever be forced to work on their birthday. I have a friend whose company actually does give this day off and another whose company gives it employees a 30-day pass around their birthdays to take a day off.

This day should be all about you, not the clients that are completely stressing you out.

4. Your period

This does not only apply to females -- yeah, I said it. How many times have you heard the phrase, "He's on his man period," uttered? Periods are uncomfortable and make you cranky.

No one wants to go to work feeling this sh*tty. I know three to five days is a lot to ask off, but you know there's that one day that's just worse than the rest.

5. Family day

Everyone has had that day when sh*t just hit the fan regarding a family matter. There's absolutely no way to focus in an office when there is craziness happening at home.

Maybe a family member got sick, your parents are getting divorced or your sibling just needs your support and undivided attention. Whatever the reason, you need to be with your family because honestly, without them, you probably wouldn't have made it this far in life to even have a job.

6. The day of your breakup

This is a day of crying! It doesn't matter whose idea it was to break up; it is painful, nonetheless. You can't just weep in your cubicle without anyone noticing. This is a day to spend in bed, crying your eyes out while curled up with Netflix.

7. Sh*tty weather

It doesn't matter if it's 100 degrees or 10 degrees; extremes in weather make going to work nearly impossible. No one wants to trek to their office in the middle of a blizzard or drive to work sticking to their suit during a heat wave. Uncomfortable weather = working from home.

8. The day after Halloween

"Mean Girls" taught us all a very valuable life lesson: Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like total sluts and no other girls can say anything about it.

This is a crucial holiday, and even if you don't dress up, it's a great excuse to get drunk. But no one wants to drag themselves into an office after that kind of night of partying. Oh, gods who determine which days corporate America gets off, do us all a favor and give us this day of rest.

9. All Jewish holidays

Why does everyone get off for Christmas, but no one gets off for Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah? I'm calling BS on that one.

These are high holy days! Everyone, regardless of religion, should get off on these holidays, just like everyone gets off for Easter and New Year's Day alike.

10. The day your pet died

The passing of a pet is a horrible, horrible thing. Maybe your boss doesn't get it, but that's because he or she didn't grow up with your cat or dog. No one will feel your pain more than you, and for that, you deserve a day to mourn. Your pet is an integral part of your family and should be respected as such.

11. No-questions-asked day

This is basically your get-out-of-jail-free card, which allows you to play hooky and no one can say a damn thing about it.

12. You're hungover

Nothing is worse than being hungover at work -- NOTHING. If you are prone to throwing up, the last place you want to be puking is in your company's restroom. Everyone will be judging you and questioning your abilities. You will be distracted and probably get little to no work done, anyway, so it's just safer to stay home.

13. USA vs. Canada hockey game

I'm a girl, so I don't really give a sh*t about this event. I only know what hockey is because my dad dressed me in Ranger clothes at four months old. But everyone else seems to love this day, to the point where the TVs are all on at work.

It represents America and gives us a chance to show Canada all the reasons we are better than they are in one symbolic event! Check out a more in-depth, male perspective of why this day should be a national holiday because I sure as hell can't provide you with that.

14. Mental health day

Everyone has those days when they are just overwhelmed by every single thing going on in their lives. A distracted mindset is counterproductive in the office, which is why mental health days should be a necessity.

Don't you ever wish you could freeze time and get all the sh*t checked off your to-do list before resuming real life? Exactly.

15. The days in between Christmas and New Year's

Why is there work during this time span? There's a good number of offices that close during this time, but there are other industries that make this virtually impossible. No one is concentrating -- not your subordinate, not your boss and definitely none of the friends you plan on celebrating with.

16. Any days surrounding the 4th of July when it doesn't fall on a weekend

I don't care what anyone says; July 4th is probably the best holiday ever created. It's a celebration of the best place ever: America.

It's the summer, making spending time in an office that much less desirable (Is there ever a time people like being at work?). Bring on the BBQ, the booze and the bikinis.

17. Valentine's Day

If you're single, the last thing you want to hear on Valentine's Day is the romantic plans of your coworkers. You don't want to see the bouquets of flowers and boxes of Edible Arrangements that get delivered throughout the day.

If you're in a relationship, the last place you want to be is at work, as you'd much rather be spending some quality time with your significant other.

Bonus: The entire month of February

This is the worst f*cking month ever created.

Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It