College is usually when people really unleash their inner party animal for the first time. For many of us, it’s also the time we go full-force into the party scene and become true party monsters.
If this was true for you, you’ve also had these 15 moments happen to you at least once:
1. You’ve woken up with phone numbers you don't remember getting.
You wake up, groggy as hell from a night of hard partying with your squad. Your phone just received a text. Assuming it’s your boyfriend, you roll over and check it, ready to type out, “Hey sweetie...”
Only, it isn’t your boyfriend. It’s some random person named Tina.
Tina is telling you how trashed you were last night. She then goes on to tell you you’re the most awesome person ever, and you were amazing while blackout drunk.
You're worried you may have cheated on your boyfriend, but then, your fear is abated when she sends you photos of you and her (presumably) hugging. Then, she tells you she hasn't laughed that long in ages.
Okay, Tina is your friend I guess. Cool?
All you can do is hope you didn't bang her without knowing it.
2. That guy you thought was a 10 was really a negative two.
Ohhh man, you hooked up with the hottest guy last night. It was magical. The dude is f*cking beautiful, and he’s totally your soulmate.
Like, for reals. You guys are going to get married and be the perfect happily ever after family. You then turn over to look at your Prince Charming.
Well, sh*t. A ninja decided to replace your super awesome Prince Charming with a squashed frog. You vomit. (It may or may not be due to realizing who you slept with.)
You want to promise yourself you won’t do something this stupid again, but you know better than to make promises you might not keep.
3. You’ve had classes that tested your endurance.
Despite being totally blasted last night, you slowly hobble over to class.
The sunlight hurts. Your ears are ringing. You want to turn into a dragon, breathe fire over everything and go puke in a nearby garbage can. If that idiot professor tries to ask you a question, you will have to summon up all your inner strength in order to avoid tossing something at him.
Why were you enrolled in a morning class, anyway?
4. There’s at least one crazy rumor about you.
Did you hear the one about the time you did that thing with the entire soccer team? No? Oh.
Well, it’s spread like wildfire throughout campus. Oh, that other rumor about you with that thing about the goat in the frathouse is making its rounds, too. Wait, you didn’t know about that one rumor of you watching a donkey show?!
After like the 50th rumor, your ability to care about what other people say becomes practically non-existent.
Haters gonna hate.
5. You’ve walked out of a club, holding your high heels in tears.
Most girls who party hard have done this at least once.
If you’re a guy who's done this, you’re probably even more awesome to party with. Either way, did you ever notice the pavement is just slightly more uncomfortable when you’re crying and walking out of a bar?
6. There have been occasions when your ability to speak English died.
“Oh my god, did you see what she is wearing?!” “Grizzzzzzzbap.”
“Uh, what?” “BOSK!”
“You need to lay off of that stuff, dude...” "Squozz....."
*takes away the bottle* "BOSK!" "You heard the guy. Bosk." *hides bottle*
7. You feel the sting of light after a crazy night partying.
It is 2 pm. You are still in your friend’s apartment, and you’re surrounded by a fairy ring of beer cans. You’re groggy and your head is pounding.
You need to go get some beef jerky. You open the door, and immediately regret your decision.
The sun sears your eyes as if it was the very first time you ever went outside in daylight. All of a sudden, you have a newfound sympathy for Nosferatu.
That guy must've been hungover 24/7.
8. You remember that horrible feeling of waking up in urine.
It’s warm, squishy, smelly and itchy. It’s all over your pants.
Congrats bro, you peed yourself after you passed out.
9. That moment you realize the party got too wild
You’re always down for a beer and a smoke. Heck, even using Molly doesn’t freak you out too much. You like to think you’re hardcore.
However, there’s a limit to how hardcore you can get before even you start to get weirded out.
The party you’re at right now is no longer cool. It’s scary.
You're pretty sure you're gonna see a stripper get thrown in a trunk if you keep partying, so you bail. Fast.
10. The awesome feeling of partying with your friends
Tonight, it’s nothing but good vibes. Your friends are all having a blast, and you’re with them. You know things are going to be awesome, and you’re going to wish this night had never ended.
So you take plenty of photos. Yay!
11. Experiencing the party that is too lame
You’re at a frat party, and it’s literally turned into 15 potato-shaped men standing around drinking beer. There are no chicks in sight.
In fact, they don’t even have any chips! Between the potato-shape of the typical attendee, the poor excuse for conversation, the cheese-tastic 90s music blasting from the speakers and the lack of quality chips, it’s safe to say this party is beat.
You’re out. You're not coming to their next “banger,” no matter how much it’s hyped up.
12. The moment you realize you made an ass out of yourself
Oh, man, what a wonderful dream.
You dreamt you were a proud Viking, standing atop a Viking ship that flew into the sky. You dreamt you headbanged to chords played by the Norse gods of Black Metal, and you began to throw candy to people around the world. They were happy and all was well.
Hey, wait, why is no one talking to you? Why is everyone avoiding you and looking at you all funny?
A roommate then informs you you’ve been banned from a party venue after getting blackout wasted, screaming nonsense about Vikings, climbing on a dumpster, pissing your pants and then deciding to toss garbage at everyone nearby.
You then cursed out your date, and promptly threw up on her. Your friends had to talk the police out of arresting you.
Oops. You *may* need to explain yourself to your date from last night.
13. That moment you are so over the party-related drama
No, you do not care your friend’s friend just slept with the guy from the wrong frat. No, you don’t care about the fist fight that happened. No, you absolutely, totally, unwaveringly do not give a flying cupcake about what that girl said about you.
You’re sick of it, and not, like, “normal” sick of it. You are fed up.
You’re sick of the haters, you’re sick of the fake rumors, you’re sick of the gossip and you are going home. Are you going to pick up calls from the party people tomorrow? You don’t know.
But right now, you couldn’t care less if the club just caught fire.
14. The moment you realize your brain is fried
This is a phenomenon that usually happens during a math class. In college. During exam season.
15. The moment you realize you've grown out of this
Everyone stops doing crazy amounts of partying eventually. At one point or another, it just gets old.
There are only so many asinine antics you can get amused by. There’s only so many times when cleaning up after a party is worth it. There are only so many times you can deal with a hangover before you realize enough is enough.
When that moment happens, you feel thankful for all the fun you've had, but are glad that phase is over. Time to be an adult now.