Growing up, we all have that one place we think of as home. It’s a town where you made your childhood best friends, where you fell in love for the first time, where everyone knows you.
It's hard to imagine that your opinion of home could ever change, but when we move away for jobs or to go to school, coming back is a lot weirder than you may think.
After being in college — aka, an adolescent's fantasyland --, it is hard to go home and pretend like you are the same person who once lived there full-time.
Here are some ways that being away at college has totally ruined your perception of life at home:
Your laundry is fresh
It’s always amazing to me that when I come home from break, the clothes I wore only days ago are folded and smelling like daisies on my bed.
At school, I can’t go to class sometimes because I have no pants to wear. Thanks, Mom!
You can’t just bring someone home
It may seem weird to you that if you want to be with someone, you can’t just bring him or her home that night.
Unless you want him or her to meet your mom, dad, aunt, cousin and possibly even grandpa, that is.
Be sure to think this one through before you bring someone home to sleep in your childhood bed, only to sneak out at 5 am.
No plastic-bottled vodka at the bars
Believe it or not, most bars would never sell dirt-cheap vodka. In order to not look like a fresh 21-year-old, step it up to Stoli, AT LEAST. When you get back to school, you can binge drink as much of the cheap stuff as your heart desires.
Hanging out with old friends
There's always a silent competition of who is having the most fun, who has the highest GPA and who gained the least weight. Make sure you are winning on all accounts.
Being wine drunk takes on a whole new meaning at home. When you're wine drunk with your friends at school, you may tell a funny story about a previous hookup, but nothing that would embarrass you too much.
At home, when you are getting wine drunk with your mom and aunts, and you accidentally reveal that you have your nipples pierced, the holidays could get awkward.
The anxiety associated with running into your ex
We all have the ex who, if we saw, we wouldn't know whether to projectile vomit from nerves or straight-up hysterically cry upon first glance.
If you are lucky enough to not go to the same school as your ex, it probably means you'll be unlucky enough to run into him or her when you look your worst this holiday break.
You mean, I can lay here and watch an entire season of "Desperate Housewives" until dinner is ready? All the free time you have on break can make you feel guilty.
At school, free time is dedicated to going out at night, the gym and studying.
Food, food, food
If I have to eat from a dining hall or order food online one more time, I will die of malnutrition. The thought of a Thanksgiving feast cancels out the nausea of only eating rice cakes in my box of a dorm room for weeks.
Not to mention, every time I open the fridge, I feel like I’ve stumbled upon the door to Narnia.
At school, you are used to being confined to the dimensions of a twin-sized bed in a box of an apartment, and you're too careless to wash your sheets as often as is considered healthy.
At home, you get to starfish in your bed and not worry if residue on your pillow case is from last night's makeup or something else...
You are the only one without a boyfriend
At college, not a lot of people are into the dating scene, especially if you go to a big school as I do.
But, if many people you know from home are already graduated and settling down, it may seem like you are the only one without a partner.