Class clowns are, in many ways, the educational equivalent to rainbow sprinkles on ice cream. While a bowl of plain vanilla is satisfying on its own, rainbow sprinkles up the ante and make a good dessert, great.
There’s a reason the condiment has remained a topping staple for centuries, despite being rather, well, tasteless. It’s safe to say sprinkles, just like class clowns, liven sh*t up.
At the end of the day, the class clown’s mission statement is no different from that of any traditional clown: to provide entertainment and joy to those around them -- except class clowns just also happen to be battling puberty and an influx of raging hormones at the same time.
Sadly, class clowns have become something of a dying breed. With the rise of social media, kids’ eyes are always plastered to their iPhones -- and there’s little need for any outside entertainment.
Kids are fully satisfied keeping to themselves and hitting the refresh button on their IG feeds for 48 minutes straight while their teacher lectures on something more boring than a State of the Union Address delivered by Kevin Costner.
Back when I was in high school, sitting silently in one class for 48 minutes meant I either fell asleep or I was in detention. Aside from that, I was unquestionably kicked out of class sometime before the 10-minute mark just for sh*ts and giggles (I believe my record still stands at two minutes).
I certainly wasn’t tallying “likes” during class like kids today are, that’s for sure. In fact, if a teacher expressed any sign of “liking” me whatsoever, then I wasn’t doing my job correctly. I can’t help but get the feeling that kids in school today lack the same passion I once had for the art of pranking.
I know I’m not alone on this one. If you were a class clown once, you know it isn’t defined by just one thing -- it’s more like a potpourri of questionable parenting and exposure to Howard Stern at young ages.
Here are the nine characteristics that prove you were the class clown in school -- and a good one at that.
You are selfless
Class clowns are some of the most selfless people on earth. You’ve got to be selfless to sit through detention on a weekly basis, in exchange for a few cheap laughs from your classmates.
You understand limits
Being a class clown is all about testing limits. Specifically, the limits of your teacher.
Class clowns are constantly relied on to tip toe around the intersection of “good humored” and “insubordinate” for the greater enjoyment of the class.
Of course, you’re inherently intelligent
Think about it. Class clowns have to be smart; how else do you think they pass exams?
Even though they're rarely ever actually in the class, when they are, they're still paying attention (even if it's not the way their teacher would like).
You’re the sweetest of talkers
The only reason class clowns don’t get expelled is that they have the uncanny ability to sweet talk their teacher into giving them “just one more chance.”
I don’t have the statistics on hand right now, but I read somewhere that the majority of class clowns go on to be great lawyers, or used car salesmen.
You’ve got a good sense of humor
This one is pretty obvious, and self-explanatory, but it’s often underrated.
Class clowns are invaluable, especially when math class junior year felt more like a Louis CK sitcom and less like advanced algebra.
You’re somewhat cute
You’ve got magnificent timing
The marvelous thing about class clowns is that none of their material is scripted. What makes class clowns so funny is their innate ability to capitalize on humorous situations on the fly.
Timing is everything -- especially in comedy -- and class clowns are masters of timing.
You’re a rebel
Class clowns don’t give many f*cks, at least not many within the four walls of a classroom.
These guys march to the beat of their own drum, and what constitutes “good behavior” doesn’t ever really apply to them. That’s why they’re so entertaining.
Deep down, you’re just a troublemaker
To be honest, troublemakers aren’t necessarily bad people. A lot of trouble can get made without any malicious intent, and that right there is an important distinction.
Class clowns usually don’t engage in foul behavior because they’re evil. It’s more about putting on a good show.