Why Capricorns Actually Aren't The Most Boring Sign In The Zodiac

by Rosey Baker
Dear Rosebud, WHY ARE CAPRICORNS SO BORING? CAN I CHANGE MY ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? The whole reason I've always hated astrology is because every time I read a description of Capricorns compared to everyone else's I get incredibly nervous that it's possible I suck. Thanks! - Anonymous Capricorn

Dear Anonymous Capricorn,

I know, and I'm sorry.

Astrology does make it sound like you guys are a tornado of boredom (without the actual tornado because then that would be exciting).

Unfortunately, you can't change your sign, but let me explain some things about Capricorns that really don't suck.

First of all, y'all are sneak freaks in the sack. In fact, a recent study showed that Capricorns were the most likely to be in an open relationship.

The reason for this is, you're so socially conscious of the outside world that you see the privacy of your sex life as a place to rebel against the expectations society places on you, which you take very seriously.

So, unless people know you on a personal and sexual level, they might wrongfully assume you're "boring."

Many astrologers also fail to recognize that the Capricorn's aloofness is actually extremely charismatic.

You reserve yourself for only the best of people, while strangers are left to wonder what's going on in that complex mind of yours.

This only makes you a mystery to them.

But, to dig a little deeper than astrology could take us, your question revealed a deeper insecurity, which is, "Am I inadequate compared to other people?"

This reminded me of a quote from "The Velveteen Rabbit," and I think it's important to bring up here because it addresses that insecurity, which I've felt myself.

You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But those things don't matter at all, because once you are real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.

The answer is no, you are not inadequate. You are not boring, and you are who you are.

And if you don't know who that is, well, just know it takes a long time to figure out.

Live your way into an understanding of who you are, and discover yourself the same way you discover a new crush: with awe and curiosity and excitement.

Isn't that a more exciting choice, Capricorn?

Not so boring anymore, are you?