The Thirst Is Real: 3 Ways Our Favorite Apps Make Us Seek Attention

by The Ambrose Girls

Okay guys, who are we kidding? We have to be the absolute thirstiest generation to ever grace planet earth.

Sure, the technology age of communication could be to blame on this one, but seriously.

The thirst is real.

Although we may be subconsciously aware of the thirst oozing out of every waking pore in our bodies, we excuse it as “normal."

We were blissfully unaware of how out-of-hand the thirst had gotten, until we started chatting over cocktails with our lifelong family friend, Kaylee.

After innocently asking her if she had Snapchat, she grimaced and replied, “Hell no. It’s creepy and weird to be that in touch with what people are doing, and I don’t want people knowing what I’m doing all the time, either.”

Once she finished tearing one of our favorite apps to shreds, she calmly sipped her champagne and continued on with the conversation, completely unaware she had just bestowed upon us an earth-shattering realization.

First of all, she is 22, and has just graduated college.

If she seems so mature over the thirst, what is wrong with us?

Sure, we thought our thirst was “normal.” But is it not?

After all, it really is just a dire need for attention and validation. Not so bad, right?


It was then that we decided to take a cold, hard look at our favorite apps and how we use them.

So, how are we all thirsty? Let's break this down, app by app.

1. Snapchat:

How we use it when thirsting:

Snapchat is the go-to app of a thirster who is seeking immediate satisfaction.

Just one quick Snap sent to an entire contact list is bound to give the thirsty person what he or she seeks: a response. Any response.

It’s no secret this app became famous because of nudies, and this is why it is also a favored app for a thirster in heat.

A thirsty in search of some serious flirtations and risque behaviors will look no further than the yellow box adorned with a ghost.

In this instance, he or she will send a somewhat scandalous selfie to someone (or someones) in the hopes of getting an immediate response.

Thirsters' favorite feature:

The creators of Snapchat did our thirsty selves a huge favor with the timer feature.

All of our thirsty selfies, nudies, etc. conveniently disappear, never to be seen again, after the amount of seconds of our choosing.

This gives us free reign to send something that might not be our best look, or might be extremely inappropriate for all audiences, all the while knowing it won’t come back to haunt us later.

How damn perfect.

2. Instagram:

How we use it when thirsting:

We Instagram in times of shameless thirst.

For girls, it's usually a selfie or bikini #tbt from lord knows when.

Basically, it's any photo in which she is scantily-dressed and lookin’ hot.

This well-filtered and cropped photo will be captioned to perfection, outfitted with several hashtags.

For boys, this will be either a gym selfie or a photo out with the dudes, while they have hot chicks all over them.

Again, this photo will be hash-tagged to the nines.

Thirsters' favorite feature:

The likes, of course!

The entire purpose of a thirsty Insta is to get an abundance of likes, and perhaps a few new followers. Nothing appeases a quest for thirst more than a plethora of likes.

A thirsty person will refresh the likes every few minutes, as he or she carefully reviews all the new names.

3. Facebook:

How we use it when thirsting:

Facebook is great for a thirsty person seeking validation and fresh blood.

Seriously, everyone signed up for Facebook when dial-up was invented, providing thirsties with a huge network of people to display their thirst to.

Facebook not only gives us the option of posting a photo, but also provides the option of posting a status, aka the quickest, easiest way to get validation.

On Facebook, thirsties love it all.

Between the instant gratification from photo and status likes, to the option to privately message anyone of their choosing, the list goes on.

Thirsters' favorite feature:

Two words: Facebook status.

With no limits on characters and the ability to share links, tags and photos, the sky's the limit, Thirsties can share everything from how “boring” their dating life is (insert hopes of a date invite here) to politics and the weather.

It's a surefire way to get any sort of attention, good or bad, and to strike up a conversation with certain someones.

The thirst may be real, but one thing is for sure: We all thirst together — with the exception of wise and young Kaylee.

Perhaps we can use her as inspiration the next time we are hardcore thirsty AF.

Take a deep breath and step away from the smartphone.

Our time could be better spent in a world beyond hash-tagging, filtering, Snapchatting and liking.

Until that fateful day comes, we promise to like your thirsty photos and Snaps, but only if you like ours too.