To every one of the 300-plus companies that denied or ignored my application:
Was it the résumé that I revised and got approved by multiple professors that did not match up? Or was it my raw honesty and craving for the position to which I applied? Perhaps it was my promise to be the most hard-working, ethical employee on your team?
Was I too persistent? Or am I just not enough? I am concerned that my unwanted words are simply vanishing into a black hole -- unread and unimportant.
I suppose you don't have the time to tell me why I am not good enough to fit into your company, and that is okay. In these past few months of unemployment, I may have learned more about life than I would have at any job.
You have allowed me to build confidence and trust. I am trusting that I belong somewhere, and that there is a place for me. You taught me to believe that something better will come along that is meant to be.
You taught me to appreciate every dollar I have. I used to be stingy, but suddenly I am enjoying my vacation days with more intention.
When I splurge on a $9 glass of wine, I sip slowly, relishing in the abundant, delicious grape flavor that I tell myself I earned after a long day of nothingness.
You taught me how to relax; how fine it is to lounge around days on end, visiting friends that I used to never have time for.
I think about the days of the Native Americans, when someone's biggest priority was feeding him or herself and sleeping.
There weren't any big corporate jobs; days were simple. Can't we go back to those times when people enjoyed family company and spent days pondering life?
You taught me how to be thankful. You taught me to appreciate my so-called freedom. I have the ability to get up and go for weeks at a time with no responsibilities holding me back.
You also have taught me how easy it is to disappear, and you have taught me that I am here alone. When I get up every morning and go on a jog to keep my heart healthy, it is not because I am forced to, it is my choice. Frankly, nobody cares about what I do as much as me.
You taught me that if I want something, it is my duty to go after it. You taught me how hard it can be to connect and to let my voice be heard.
I am also now aware of how impossible it is to persuade someone of all of your talents in a brief 500-word cover letter, even if you put in all of your effort.
You taught me how much dedication it takes to do the thing that makes you feel alive; the thing that makes your blood rumble inside and widen your eyes with excitement. You taught me that you will get what you want, if you really know what that is, and burning passions inside of us will lead us to our destination.
You taught me that in order to get a career, I must understand myself inside and out. I am not going to get what I want if I first don't even know what that is. You taught me that some day, my passion will shine and lead me to the life I strive to live.
For now, I want to thank you for letting me enjoy myself like I'm reliving sixth grade summer vacation. If you had employed me, I probably would not be able to stretch my legs right now by walking to the fridge for some homemade lemonade. So I thank you for that, too.
Sincerely, The Girl You Never Hired
Photo Courtesy: The Simpsons