You fear them, you've been warned about them and worst of all, you've probably met at least one. That's right; at some point in your life, you met the infamous social climber, and chances are, it was not a pleasant encounter.
It may not be obvious at first glance that this person is attempting to climb the invisible ladder, but within a few minutes, it becomes more than clear. Painfully clear.
Once this person gets started, there is no stopping him or her, and you will have two choices: Run as fast as you can, or let your eyes glaze over and pretend to listen. Option one is your best bet.
The social climber is a unique breed. He or she has the ability to live in a constant state of delusion, which is pretty impressive if you think about how much dedication this requires; he or she also invites you to join, which is kind of nice. At least the social climber wants you to feel included.
No matter what, the social climber will relentlessly remind you of how well-connected and trendy he or she is, while simultaneously trying to subtly find out what everyone else thinks is cool.
The social climber's daily struggles alternate between finding the most superficial thing he or she can get a picture of and coming up with different ways to talk about it.
While there are a series of cringe-worthy things that every social climber is notorious for, here are five that make it easy to spot them on their attempt to "climb to the top."
1. Doing It For The Insta
The social climber has one priority and one priority only: to get a picture to Instagram. The picture isn't necessarily for her own memory, but so everyone else can remember how "cool" she is.
She would rather spend her night having random people take pictures of her, over and over again, then actually enjoy it dancing, meeting people or having any kind of fun. She has to make sure to get the right angle or else what was the point of even going out?
She will then get a semi-decent shot of her, featuring a large bottle of alcohol that she probably took from someone else's table, and will then spend the rest of her time having a heated internal debate about which filter to slap on it.
"Hmm Valencia is nice but is it too expected? Maybe I should switch it up and use Lo-fi. Yes, Lo-fi it is, that looks expensive!"
2. OMG, I love you so much!!
When you first meet this person they will keep telling you how much they love you, and this is probably a red flag. "I love you so much, you're so fun! Follow me on Instagram!"
Does she love you? Because you certainly do not love her. She could at least let you tell her your last name first before she starts professing how "passionately" she feels about you, and then maybe you'll give her a follow back. Anyone who says they love you in the first 15 minutes of meeting you, should freak you out.
This will most likely be followed with her telling you how pretty you are and how you two totally have to hang out more! "Why haven't we met sooner, you're so cool. Who are you friends with? What guys do you hang out with?" You should start running now if you haven't already.
3. Multiple Personalities
The social climber also has the incredible gift of having several different personalities, it all just depends on who she meets. No matter what, the social climber will make sure she loves everything about you even if in reality, she really hates everything you stand for.
You could claim you were a dictator and she won't even blink because guess what? So is she! No way! You two have so much in common.
She can start the night off talking with one person, discussing their "shared" hatred for Miley Cyrus, and then the next person she meets, she will rant and rave about how they both love Miley Cyrus and have to go to a concert together, like, ASAP. Yikes, talk about being indecisive.
4. I'll Only Go To This Club
She is meticulous about where she will spend her weekends and what clubs are acceptable for her to frequent. For her, it's not about the company she keeps, it's about the status of the club, bar or lounge.
She would rather go to the city hot spot with an entourage of murderers because it's "the place to be seen," than go to a low-key dive bar with her best friends.
She's got her priorities in order and her values upside down.
5. Ohhh... Who Else Did You Invite?
This is the same type of person who will act so excited about an event or activity that you've invited them to only to follow it with, "Ohhh, that could be fun. But who else going?" Okay, seriously? If you need to ask who else is invited then don't bother coming.
If you truly wanted to spend time with someone you wouldn't care who else was going.
She only is interested in attending said event if a guy she wants to hook up with is going, or if a fresh victim she has deemed "cool" will be there, and she can attempt to sweet talk them both. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.
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