12 Times Having An Old Soul Makes Your Life Miserable In 2014

by Lauren Martin

Do you yearn for another time? Do you imagine a life full of simple pleasures? Do you crave an existence of limited technology and drive-in theaters?

Does your soul light up when it treads across cobblestone streets? Do your fingers long for the touch of sealed envelopes and brimmed hats? Do you envision typewriters and the sound of saxophones pouring through smoke-filled rooms?

Do you hunger for the pungent smell of leather seats in Oldsmobiles and the cigars of men in smoking jackets?

If you pine for these things, unfortunately, you are not going crazy, you are sadly inflicted with the heavy burden of an old soul.

Like a heart with a murmur or a leg with a limp, it’s something that makes life always a little more difficult, and perpetually less enjoyable.

A constant yearning for the past, an infliction with a nostalgia of a time that never was -- it’s a hinderance that hampers your health, constantly detracting from your happiness in the present.

An eternal ache, it makes those with years in front of them feel like there is nothing but vast emptiness.

It turns youthful faces hard and keeps the future as nothing but a looming portal of disappointment.

In a society dictated by dick pics, Instagram requests and Kardashian fame, those with old souls lead lives of never-ending disappointment and those lifelong feelings that they just don't belong.

Sub-par social media presence

Those with an affinity for the past do not believe in modern technology. Like their predecessors, they do not document every moment, feeling, thought or passing whim.

They believe that those in the past lived happily without the proof of it on screens, so why can't they?

This aversion to documentation obviously leads to a dull social media presence, resulting in few followers and a limited understanding to how real their lives actually are.

Countless dollars spent on books

A true old soul would never invest in a Kindle. Reading Hemingway on a screen is like bringing your Mexican friends to Chipotle.

Old souls read for more than just the words. It’s a process that involves the smell, feel and heaviness of book. They like to fill their bookshelves and mark the pages.

This, of course, is an expensive hobby. Between shipping prices, hardback covers and hipsters, a single book costs more than the good bottle of wine they like to drink it with.

Inability to procure movie dates

Subtitles, men with deep American accents, black and white screens. These are things young Millennials neither understand nor tolerate.

While they may not admit the movies of today are better, they will say it’s what they are used to. And it’s hard to rid someone of their comfort zone. This leaves old souls perpetually alone on movie night.

They’re accustomed to rejected suggestions and hitting the one dingy theatre 20 miles away showing an overpriced admittance to “A Philadelphia Story” alone.

Limited number of friends

Friends make bonds from sharing experiences and old souls many times do not like the modern day experiences those around them seek.

They would rather go to jazz clubs and showings of old Shirley Temple films than Avicii concerts and another “Transformers” movie.

This inhibits them from sharing those experiences that create such “strong” friendships for modern Millennials.

Your peers don’t relate to you

Old souls never fare well in groups. They do not agree with many of the daily trends and amusements that distract the overindulged minds of their peers.

They find little in common with those around them, craving conversation that does not involve Kardashians or matches on Tinder.

They are many times ostracized by their peers, forced to live a life of solitary yearning.

 All the performers you want to see in concert are dead

Elvis. Etta James. Miles Davis. Jimi Hendrix. Doesn’t matter what era you yearn for, those with an affinity for the music of the past are left with limited concert options.

Forced to settle for overpriced reunion tours and sub-par Youtube videos, they will never experience the rush so many of their peers experience seeing Beyoncé or Mac Miller perform live.

Can't find a suitable mate

Where are all the Cary Grants, Jimmy Stewarts and Marlon Brandos? What happened to the chivalry and the charm? Where have all the good men gone? For old souls, it feels as if they faded along with the black and white screens from which they sprung.

For those men yearning for the Katherine Hepburns, Elizabeth Taylors and Marilyn Monroes of the golden years, all they are left with are girls in crop tops with Audrey Hepburn quotes.

There’s only so many vintage stores

Ripped jeans from Abercrombie and popped collars from Hollister never enticed those with old souls, even through those formidable middle school years.

Yearning for the sophisticated, grungy or elegant styles of the past, they are left sifting through thrift stores with the hipsters and homeless.

They are surrounded by a style that does not appeal to them, and must go to extra lengths to dress how they believe the modern population should have never stopped.

Your stories are outdated

Those with a constant craving for the past have a tendency to live in their own.

Though they can’t go back to the decades they know would better suit them, they still dream of going back to the simpler days of their youth.

Before the cell phones and Instagrams, they reminisce about times they will never see again and times no one wants to hear about anymore.

There is no bright future for you

The biggest and most inhibiting symptom of an old soul is the aversion to the present and the future.

Old souls spend their entire lives in another time, a time, unlike the future, they will never know. Rather than daydreaming of days to come, they waste their lives thinking of days long gone.

They will never experience the reality of their dreams or the fruition of their hopes. They are left in the unsettling portal of a time they will never know.

Stamps are expensive

To the chagrin of old souls everywhere, emails have officially replaced postage. No longer do people send cards filled with long handwritten declarations, but pokes, "likes" and Facebook messages.

Old souls are forced to carry on the beautiful tradition in their own ways, paying for overpriced postage and never getting any credit for their effort to keep the simple tradition of real mail, mail you can hold in your hands and store in shoe boxes for years to come, alive.

Manners are confused for flirting

Holding the door for someone and opening a car door are no longer viewed as common courtesies, but premeditated moves for getting into someone’s pants.

Men and women have lost the cordial interactions old souls crave in a society dictated by dick pics and right swipes. Unfortunately, for those with a predilection for the past, good manners are now just lame.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It