10 Things Every Stoner Can Appreciate

by Ashley Fern

There are certain indicators that give away the fact that you are a downright pothead. It’s okay, so are we. You know when you’re talking to someone and he or she makes a little comment that seems to go over everyone else’s head, but your first thought is – sh*t that guy is a stoner!

You have finally found someone who appreciates the same small pleasures in life as you. Stoners make the best friends; there’s no doubt about it. They are chill, laidback and definitely not the type to engage in drama. Everyone needs to have that one friend who is always down to get high. Don’t have that friend? Well chances are that’s your role!

What separates the pedestrians from the potheads? What do they appreciate more than any other type of person? Let’s take a look.

1. The perfect meat to condiment sandwich ratio

Obviously if you’re stoned, you’re going to want to devour whatever food you can get your hands on. When you’re high, everything tastes better. But what really tastes the best is when your huge sub has the perfect meat to ketchup to mayo to whatever else you want to shove in there ratio.

2. Good lighting

When you’re high, the last thing you want is the sun shining directly in your eyes. Your bedroom or living room most definitely will double as a cave since you need to have the perfect balance of lighting to keep you awake enough not to fall asleep, but still dark enough to keep you mellowed out.

3. 24 Hour McDonald's

HELLL YEAH! It doesn’t matter what time you’re twisting up since you can get nuggets and fries at any damn time you please. The biggest demographic for McDonald's is probably stoners with meal costs essentially guaranteed to hit the double digit mark. #MoneyInTheBank.

4. Someone who can actually roll

Let me try to roll, I’ve done it like three whole times! B*tch get the F out of here. Ain’t nobody got time to deal with an amateur who cant roll for sh*t. Don’t piss off your friends by rolling a makeshift boujey blunt. It’s much better to own up to the fact that you can’t roll if your life depended on it. Leave it to the professionals, please!

5. Reliable bud man

Nothing screams buzz kill quite like a deliveryman who can’t quite deliver. The beauty of living in a major city is that you can have pot delivered to your doorstep. You need to have that safe, reliable, go-to contact you know will get you the nicest bud on the market.

6. People who can hang

It’s all about the people you are getting high with-- sure smoking alone is acceptable, but it’s not always preferable. You need to have a solid crew that knows exactly what falls into appropriate high talk and what does not. Sometimes the best people to smoke with are those who you can just sit in comfortable silence with while passing the bong back and forth.

7. Good quality TV or movies

Well, now what? You certainly aren’t about to hit the gym as you melt into your couch. The key is that you always need to have a comedy on deck, preferably one you can sit and watch for a couple of hours nonstop. Cue the Netflix.

8. Sunglasses

God’s greatest gift: sunglasses. Your eyes could be bright red, bloodshot and rolled to the back of your head, but no one will ever know! That guy behind the food counter won’t judge you for indecisively stuttering your order. Too bad they’re not socially acceptable to wear at night.

9. Tapestries

What else is a pothead supposed to decorate his or her room with other than funky tapestries? These items were basically created for stoners by stoners.

10. Rooftops

On a beautiful day, there’s nothing better than sparking a blunt outside. At the end of the day you can sit back, relax and watch the sun set as you exhale all of the day’s problems out of your lungs.

Top Photo Courtesy of: Tumblr