How To Continue Dealing With A Loss After Everyone Else Has Moved On
As of late, I’ve found myself in somewhat of a funk (even though I detest that expression).
The people who are close to me knew immediately, and all they wanted to do was help. They’re good people.
For a while, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong.
We talked, I thought, I cried and we talked some more.
It had been almost a year and a half since I lost someone, and I assumed it was just another stage of mourning.
But after I saw no improvement, I turned to therapeutic writing to deal with my loss.
When I first started writing, I quoted one of my best friends, as he was the one who gave me advice on how to handle this “new” life.
About a year ago, he was telling me about the ups and the downs and what to expect.
When I asked him last year if it gets better, he said,
Honestly, yes and no. It doesn’t get easier, but you get used to it. The hardest part is that everyone is there for you at first, but after a while, people stop coming around and forget about what you’re going through. They remember when they see you. It’s just like people say: ‘Out of sight, out of mind.’ But I know that you can do it. It may not get easier, but I promise it won’t get harder. Lean on the people you can trust, and forget the people you can’t.
First of all, how great is he? It's excellent advice, and I’m blessed to know him.
Secondly, he was so right.
Although last year was painfully difficult, it took until now for me to actually see how much everyone “babied” me.
I never liked asking people for help, and it turns out that last year I never had to because no one gave me the chance to.
It was wonderful.
The love and support was coming at me from every angle at pretty much all times, and I needed it.
Now, I look around and — big shocker — the world is still going on.
How strange, right? Not really.
People have their own lives, their own problems, their own triumphs and their own everything.
That’s the way it should be.
I guess I was so used to people always checking in on me that I never thought to ask for help when things started to get difficult again.
Well now that I figured that out, I feel oddly better. and guess what? I still feel as loved and supported as ever.
Essentially, what I'm saying is, don’t forget that you’re still important to everyone around you.
Ask for help.
You’re still loved, and whoever was there for you before will be there for you now.
Remember people aren’t mind readers.
Life is crazy, and we all have our eyes on different prizes. If you’re sad, tell someone.
If you want to cry, tell someone.
You aren’t bothering anyone.
When people told you forever ago that they were there for you for anything you needed, they meant it.
In fact, people like to feel needed. Technically, you'd be doing them a favor (kind of).
Anyway, just remember life is sad, hard, brutal, happy, pretty, warm, cold, breezy, comfortable, sharp and everything in between.
We are all human.
Cut us open, and you will find the same color blood running from our skin.
Show kindness to everyone. You have no idea what’s going on in their lives.
When you need help, ask for it.
I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: Humans need other humans.
We’re all in this life together, and it isn’t stopping for anyone.
Trust me. Spread the love.