Good 'Til The Last Drop: What The Brand Of Coffee You Drink Says About You
Coffee is practically a religious experience. It’s the OG after a party on a weeknight, the MVP for when you have meetings all morning and the holy grail when you pull an all-nighter.
Ask the baristas and they'll agree: Drinking a cup of joe is also one of the most personal parts of our day. There are a million ways to order a latte and twice as many ways to have your iced coffee. Any true caffeine junkie will tell you not all coffee is created equal — the brand is just as important as what you order.
Trust us, a Starbucks chick is very different from the Dunkin’ gal and polar opposites from the Brooklyn-based microbrewery fan.
Here's what the brand of coffee you drink says about you.
The McDonald’s fan
You either live in a small town where the only cool place to hang out is your local gas station, or you’re a serial killer. You think trends are a waste of time, and anyone who spends $6 for a cup of coffee deserves to be institutionalized.
It’s okay. Your lack of giving a f*ck is kind of charming, like that old lady who wheels her nearly-dead cat around in a baby stroller. You do you — just do it far away from everyone else.
The Starbucks junkie
You have a super high-powered job (or at least, think you do) and know the cup of coffee you carry is just as important as your purse.
Regina George is your spirit animal, and you’re on an endless hunt to eradicate all the Cadys from your life. You’re convinced your dream man is just a misspelled-name-on-a-mug away, but you need a cold hard dose of reality — your hands won’t touch as you reach for the same Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte. Move on and upgrade yourself to a coffee shop that uses real Italian words.
The Dunkin’ Donuts babe
You probably spent high school wearing a North Face, torn-at-the-hem plaid pajama pants and most importantly, Uggs.
You were “basic” before being “basic” was even a thing, which kind of makes you a trendsetter. You grew up a bit, but you’re still the type to only ever order fruity drinks at the bar and sweet wine. You still haven’t thrown away your terry cloth tracksuits because you just know they'll come back one day.
The Hyper-Local chick
You’re too f*cking cool for school (or whatever Williamsburg coffee shop you haunt). Keep Instagramming your chinchilla poo-infused micro-brewed drink while pretending you can actually tell the difference between that and bagel cart joe.
The Folgers lady
You’re not a cool mom. You will never be a cool mom.
You also wear mom jeans non-ironically.
The Green Mountain Coffee crusader
You either 1) have a dad bod, 2) have a thing for dad bods or 3) are a dad with a dad bod.
Either way, your coffee has more flavor than you do.