‘Tis the season to be jolly!
But somehow, the start of the holidays propels me into misery and remorse.
And it doesn’t even have to do with eating too much food or having one too many glasses of wine.
I see Christmas as one of the most wonderful and amazing times of the year.
As a kid, I used to love it, even when the time came to accept Santa Claus was all made up.
As a Millennial adult, I love Christmas just as much as the next person, but I kind of hate it, too.
It’s a complicated relationship, you see.
There are many reasons why:
1. It’s ours.
Christmas is part of our culture.
It's who we are, and it represents the values we believe in.
But who we are and what we believe in isn’t about manically shopping for useless stuff we don’t really need.
It’s about sharing, giving and putting smiles on our loved ones’ faces.
It’s about being a warmer, better person and believing you can brighten up the world with the sound of "Jingle Bells."
You can’t not love all the great stuff about Christmas.
It flows into our veins as easily as a Starbucks coffee on a Monday morning.
2. It’s too much about us.
We want the fattest geese on our Christmas tables and the fanciest bottles of wine in our bellies.
We want the biggest, brightest, most opulent trees on the street.
We want to give our kids the best and most expensive gifts, so they can take them to school and brag about how much Santa spoiled them.
But although we might donate money and sing Christmas carols for the less fortunate, all the aforementioned things kind of miss the point and cancel out all the great things we’ve done this Christmas to be better people.
3. It’s delicious.
I will be the first to admit I like great food, and I take no shame in it.
Thus, I naturally love the winter holiday season.
It starts off with mouthwatering pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes, and it ends with a tall glass of champagne when the clock strikes midnight on December 31.
That’s more than one month full of culinary enjoyment I will never regret.
4. It’s lonely.
Unless you’re in one of those picture-perfect, Hollywood-inspired, almost-surreal relationships, Christmas can be a time when you'll feel an emptiness in your bed.
I know I do.
In all honesty, I may prefer to cuddle up under my blankets and enjoy a good romance novel, but when Christmas comes, I’d rather kiss someone under the mistletoe.
Of course, I come to my senses as soon as January 2 comes.
But still, I hate that Christmas makes me question my relationship status with all the cheesy movies and soppy songs.
At Christmas, sharing that extra-large pepperoni pizza suddenly sounds like a dream come true, but it’s definitely not true during the rest of the year.
5. It’s glamorous as hell.
Well, if Hell was glamorous, at least.
All the lights, all the décor and all the pumpkin spice flavors inviting you into those hipster coffee shops are fabulous, enticing and beautiful.
From the classic Coca-Cola truck commercial to the puny, yet adorable tree I bought at Walmart five years ago, everything about Christmas is pretty.
It’s an explosion of color, glitter and glam.
Kitschy, and yet so stylish, Christmas decorations are meant to make us feel celebratory.
6. But it’s darn expensive.
Sadly, my bank account doesn’t agree with my need to buy tons of new ornaments every year.
Or with my desire to please my friends and family with great gifts.
Or with my appetite for gourmet Gordon Ramsay-like dinners.
Considering I still have a huge student loan that I don’t pay nearly as much as I would like to, Christmas can be quite pricey for me.
It also takes a larger than normal chunk out of most other people’s bank accounts.
All in all, I will always have a feisty relationship with Christmas.
But you know what?
It really should be a jolly season.
So, I’ll just ignore my loneliness, the fancy Swarovski crystal covered Christmas tree pictures on my Instagram feed and my bank account (until January, at least).
I will just enjoy myself, smile and spread the joy.
Because really, that’s what Christmas is all about.