The need for closure may very well be one of our greatest human flaws. It may sometimes feel as though it takes such a toll on our bodies that it actually trumps the need for food, the need for water and the need for shelter.
How could something so emotionally-fueled manage to weasel its way into our most basic needs for survival? How could it ever even begin to compare?
At the end of the day, life comes down to you and your thoughts. You can distract yourself from hunger; you can wrap yourself in a blanket to hide from the cold, but that voice in the back of your head will always be whispering.
You can try to ignore it, but after long enough, the whispering can turn into a shouting, a shouting that you can't escape no matter how hard you try.
We're always searching for a way to escape the pain. I've started to realize that maybe the key to avoiding heartbreak is control and closure, and if you have had both of those in a relationship, chances are you weren’t all that in love to begin with (and the other person is probably crying in a closet somewhere right now).
Love is a crazy kind of drug, a drug so strong that the chemicals our body releases as we experience it are comparable to the reaction our brain has when high on cocaine. You grow so accustomed to getting your daily dose, but then, one day, it can be torn from your unsuspecting heart.
Sometimes we’re the broken, and sometimes we’re the breakers.
No matter what end of the spectrum we fall on that day, there will always be a burning need for closure. We want to know that that chapter of our lives is officially closed, and that everything is going to be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually.
We’ll all be okay eventually, some sooner than others. However, "eventually" only really works with the proper dose of closure. Closure cures the withdrawal symptoms. It’s our key to recovery.
Without that closure, there’s a chance we may never fully heal. How twisted is that? Not only were we told that a person woke up one morning and decided that they didn’t like our personality anymore, but we also need to know WHY. What did I do wrong? Why will this never work? How can I get past this?
If we could just accept that sometimes people do just wake up with their feelings changed and their mind in a different place, could you imagine how great the world would be?
Like, "Hey! Something weird happened in your brain overnight, and I didn’t do anything to make that happen! Hope you have a great life! I’m going to go find someone who actually likes me now!"
We know that people can wake up and feel different because we've been the people who wake up and feel different. Sure, there might be a science to it but there's never really a solution to explaining to another person why it happened. Life isn’t that easy. So sometimes we itch the scratch that is closure, asking for it, begging for it. Other times we try to smother it with anti-itch creme, praying that the feelings will subside for a little while. When we’re feeling really strong, we ignore it and wait for the pain to go away.
The only thing worse than endings is leaving things with room for interpretation, for over-thinking. Next time, leave no room for interpretation. Ask the questions you need the answers to. Tell the person exactly why things are ending so that there aren't questions to be asked. Clear-cut endings may sting, but open endings are a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.
Kill the need for closure before it eats you alive.
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