Why Blaming Others Could Be The Reason You're Not Finding Happiness

by Kailyn Bowman
Kayla Snell

How often do we ask ourselves the question, “Why did that have to happen to me?” It would seem we've become accustomed to believing that what happens to us is never our fault.

In fact, it's life's fault. If not life, it's our neighbor, our friend or possibly our boss. Nonetheless, how dare we believe that we are the one responsible for our own well-being.

I'm about to be the bearer of bad news. Sorry, folks, but your life isn't lying to you. This couldn't be more of the opposite. Life is always giving you indicators of what you expect and what you believe you deserve.

If you want to better understand yourself, begin to understand your circumstances. Every person — no matter who you are — has at least one area of life that he or she is proud of. Wouldn't you agree? This recognition can assist in proving my theory.

What are your thoughts surrounding the area of your life that you're proud of? I always love to ask this question because it begins to open people's eyes to their contrasting thoughts. The area of your life that seems like a struggle is merely an indicator that what you're currently doing isn't working for you.

Life isn't lying to you, but you need to listen to it. We make the mistake of ignoring our circumstances, doing nothing different and expecting better results.

If you're guilty of this, I don't blame you entirely. I've been there. We all have. Nonetheless, it's time to understand that every day you are being guided.

You get what you believe you deserve, period. If your relationship is unsatisfying, it's not about the other person; it's about your unwillingness or incapability of expressing your needs.

It's you who is unwilling to cherish yourself enough to say you deserve better. So, if you are attempting to fix a relationship with extreme effort in changing the other person, life will keep disappointing you.

Life reflects how you feel. I understand most of what we're told goes against this theory. We're taught to believe we have little to no control over the outcomes in our life, and we must learn to roll with the punches. Under this way of thinking, I can see why we would be in constant battle with life.

I guess the real question then becomes, where is your level of self-esteem? Understanding this question alone is step one in becoming one with life. It's impossible for us to allow more into our lives than we actually believe we deserve. This is why so much self-sabotage exists within us. This is also why you see others reach massive success, only for it to be short-lived.

This happens because our minds will only allow abundance to the capacity to which we've expanded. If we are stuck in our stories of unworthiness, you won't believe you deserve very much of anything. This is the basis for people staying in unfulfilling jobs or worse yet, unsatisfying relationships.

So the answer then becomes, increased self-esteem equals increased happiness. It's so funny for me to see people who have finally accepted this premise begin to change their world from the inside out. It's funny because it changes once their sentiment changes from "the world is lying to me," to "the world is being honest with me." If that isn't becoming one with life, well, I don't know what is.

Bless the signs that are all around you. They're not there to offend you; they're there to protect and guide you. Next time life yields an unexpected turn of events, remember, your life isn't lying to you.

This article was originally published on the author's personal blog.