Better, Not Bitter: Why Being Cheated On Is A Blessing In Disguise

by Josh Fletcher

Being in love is amazing. Being cheated on is sh*t. But, let’s look at the positives here.

Everyone needs to experience rock bottom — the kind of low where chocolate, vodka and Sam Smith become your best friends.

People tell you, “It’s going to be okay,” but in your head, it will never be okay. You want nothing more than to wrap yourself in a duvet and cry into a giant jar of Nutella.

It was all so perfect, and now, it’s all over. It's a clusterf*ck of emotions and pain.

The beauty of love quickly becomes an ugly web of lies, deceit and heartache. You’ve been cheated on, and it is sh*t. You will be hurting more than you’ve ever hurt before.

In your head, nothing can possibly make you feel the same again; nothing will ever compare, and nothing will ever be “okay.” You feel alone; you feel afraid, and you can’t find comfort.

You push your friends away because they simply don’t understand what you’re going through -- how could they possibly? No one surely has ever felt this low before.

But, let’s take a step back, put down the Ben & Jerry’s and look at things a little differently.

You need to focus on looking forward, forgetting what you’ve “lost” and ask if it was a loss. The ultimate realization is when you accept that you did not lose anything that had any real value; you merely were shown you were investing your life and time into the wrong person.

Of course, you had amazing times together, but you, ultimately, were in love with someone who hurt you. This is a blessing. You received a wake-up call and you’re lucky; this could have happened in 10 years.

You feel repulsed and disgusted that someone could do this to another human being, but this is all so good. It proves you are capable of love.

You are capable of caring for another human and loving him or her unconditionally. You are unable to hurt, unable to emotionally destroy another person in the same way you have been hurt.

You are proud you are different. You now know what you deserve, and knowing this makes everything much easier. Be thankful for this.

You’re about to have the best and worst few weeks ever. You’ll be out every night to try and make yourself “happy." Granted, these nights will end in drunken emotional tears and chats, but at least you go to lots of parties! And, for this, we are thankful.

You’re going to be out of your comfort zone; you’ll put yourself out there and experience brand new things. You will want to escape, and this will lead you on a journey of self-discovery.

Instead of building up anger and pain, jealousy or regret, just let all of this go.

Free yourself from grudges and heartache, and use your pain as a catalyst to make you the strongest and best version of yourself.

A version of you where your interests and ambitions are at the forefront of every decision you make and never settle; never accept defeat or let anyone tell you that you are not are capable.

Be single.

Enjoy your company; enjoy your time alone, and learn that life is great without explanations or worries that come with a relationship. It’s healthy to know you can manage on your own.

Don’t worry about what you have lost; worry about what you have. Wherever your interests or passions lie, focus on those. Focus on the people who matter, and more importantly, do not be cynical; trust everyone until they prove otherwise.

You’ll be thankful for this new energy you have, a new excitement for life and a new strive to make the most of every situation or experience. Life becomes about you. You will do and achieve things YOU wanted to achieve.

You’ll grow in confidence and know that no matter what life throws at you, you know you will be able to overcome it.

Once you’ve rebuilt yourself, you’ll be an even better addition to the life of someone a lot more worthy of your love and time.

A year later, compare your lives; compare what you’ve accomplished, what you’ve seen and done and who you’ve met.

No doubt it will be no comparison; you’ll be grateful you’re not being tied down to someone who, ultimately, was no real enhancement to your life.

So, although things may be sh*t, really sh*t at the minute, focus on the future and use all of the anger and pain to achieve your goals.

One day pretty soon, "f*ck you" will most definitely become "thank you."