If Your Best Friend Does These 4 Things, It's Time To Rethink The Friendship
Lucy and Ethel inhaling chocolates off of a conveyor belt is what I would would refer to as major #friendshipgoals.
Sadly, though, life has a way of wedging itself between you and your best candy compadre.
One of the hardest things to do is to say goodbye to a friendship that you thought would outlast everything else, but sometimes doing just that is the only way to move forward.
People change and grow. Unfortunately, that can mean you no longer hold the same values and interests that glued you and your bestie together for years.
There are some warning signs to look out for that might mean it's time to rethink a friendship:
1. You feel bad about yourself after spending time with her.
You notice that your interactions have shifted from your usual sarcastic but generally harmless banter.
Instead, she's grown accustomed to making you the butt of her jokes. She subtly insults you (and others) for no good reason.
Since you are probably caught off-guard by her change in demeanor, you just nod right along in the conversation.
But then, you're left feeling awful that you didn't speak up. Even worse, you wonder why you didn't speak up.
Sometimes, no matter how self-assured you are, there are some people in this world that just have the ability to render you mute when you are interacting with them. If your pal has become one of these people and there's no change in sight, it might be time to move on.
2. She no longer remembers the important details about your life.
I'm not saying she has to know the names of all your coworkers or the barista who's known for gifting you a free croissant now and then.
She doesn't even have to know your birthday by heart. Yeah, it might get annoying when she asks you every year, but it's nice to know that she's thinking of you!
One of the best parts of being a good friend is knowing the little details that make up a person. If she no longer wants to put in effort to remain that close, then move on to others who do.
3. Venting about problems is a one-way street.
Ever feel like you need to grab a notebook and pen when she starts spouting off so you can remember where you left off for her next therapy session?
That's actually normal.
The benefit of having a best friend is that you have a built-in therapist of sorts. But when it's one-sided, you end up feeling unappreciated.
If your BFF doesn't lend an ear like you do, then maybe it's time to show her the door. Or at least send her a bill for her therapist duties!
4. "Picking up the check" seems to have vanished from her vocabulary.
One of the great parts about being such close friends is that you see each other often enough that it just makes sense to take turns footing the bill. Not to mention, waiters everywhere will sing your praises.
Now, every friendship has their own balance when it comes to this. Maybe you make more than she does, so you always cover the tip.
Whatever it may be, it's all fine and dandy as long as it's working out pretty evenly. Once the balance of this relationship is tipped unevenly onto you, you need to have a talk.
Obviously, this is an uncomfortable discussion to have, but if she's willing to have it, then you might be able to salvage the friendship. If not, the resentment will build and it will sully all of your interactions.
Keep in mind that even if the warning signs are there, it's not always a surefire solution to say farewell to a longtime friend. Try talking it out and see if you can fix the problems.
If those efforts fail, then know that you gave it your all and let the friends that lift you up help you through saying goodbye. The good ones will be there for you!