The Next Time You Think Someone's Avoiding You, Take A Look In The Mirror

by Daniella Whyte

Most people strive to be kind, loving, and happy.

But that is not always the case. Most people associate beauty with external looks and they think that is what will make them attractive to other people. Being an attractive person actually has nothing to do with how you look on the outside.

Behaviors and attitudes can't be seen with the naked eye; they proceed from our inner beings. These bad habits can make you unattractive on the inside and that unattractiveness spills out into your external relationships.

If you happen to see your coworkers avoiding you at the office, friends not inviting you to gatherings, family members not inviting you to the annual reunion, or your significant other dumping you for someone else, it might be time for you to check whether you're as attractive as you think:

1. You are manipulative and controlling.

Controlling people are called “freaks” for a reason.

If you are always seeking to use someone for your own personal gain or you play games with other people's feelings, you need to check your heart and your intentions.

Manipulation is a lot like competition but without rules and boundaries. When one party is manipulative, trust is impossible and this causes many things to just not work out.

2. You are dishonest.

As a human being, it pays to be honest.

When it comes to being a good friend or someone others can trust and confide in, you need to be known for telling the truth.

People who have a dark heart are often untruthful, lie about everything (even insignificant things), and question everything asked of them. It isn't just a cliché — honesty is still the best policy.

3. You focus on yourself.

Most people do this unconsciously. We think about ourselves, talk about ourselves, and look to fulfill our needs to the neglect of what other people around us have to say or think.

If you think you're the only one that matters, you don't need to get into a relationship with anybody else because you're too involved in a relationship with yourself. No one wants to be around a person who only cares about themselves.

4. You are enamored with how you look on the outside.

True beauty comes from having a good heart and a beautiful spirit.

Your physical appearance pales in comparison to your inner behaviors and thoughts. People with unattractive attitudes and behaviors think that outer beauty is most important. Take a look inside and you might find that what lies beneath your skin is an ugly person.

5. You cop an attitude about everything.

If nothing is ever good enough for you and nobody can ever surprise you with dinner and a movie, or a birthday party, or an unexpected mini vacation, then that same person isn't going to be too thrilled about doing anything for you or with you even if you ask them to.

Pretty soon, you'll be all alone because you haven't left any space for spontaneity.

6. You are always pessimistic.

A negative attitude is a very unattractive trait.

If you are constantly saying something can't be done, passing off negative energy to the people around you, putting things and people down, making others look bad, and choosing to see the worst in every situation, you need to consider attitude therapy.

Nobody wants to be around someone who never sees the good and instead of trying to help when things go wrong, chooses to pass judgment.

7. You are bossy.

It never hurts to be decisive and sure of yourself but when you have to be the one who always makes the decisions, most people will see you as being cocky and arrogant and not want to be around you.

You don't always have to be in charge or control what others are doing even in a group setting. Save some of your energy. Let someone else lead sometimes, and be willing to go along with the flow.

8. You are jealous of others.

If you are the person who thinks that you have to be better than everyone else, do more than everyone else, and have more things than everyone else, you are an unattractive person.

If a friend of yours becomes successful, you need to be right there cheering them on and let them have their shining moments.

Don't try to diminish their success by elevating yours — that never works.

9. You hide your flaws.

Trying to make yourself appear to be perfect and have it all together all of the time only decreases your chances for true intimacy, care, and understanding in your relationships.

You will never experience unconditional love and acceptance from the closest people around you until you reveal your flaws and imperfections. Sharing who we are at our core creates a connection with other human beings.

10. You take yourself too seriously.

You are definitely an unattractive person when you can't joke about yourself, laugh at things that are funny, and constantly questions who you are in comparison with someone else.

While we like to think we are, the truth is, we are never as important as someone else is. Get over yourself and be a good sport.

11. You are undependable.

You want people to be there for you, but you are never there when someone else needs you. You make an excuse, make yourself unavailable, or claim to be busy.

If no one can count on you but you want to be able to count on everyone else, you will quickly be known as someone who is inconsiderate. Likewise, if you never to offer help to anyone else, don't expect help to be offered to you.

12. You are rude or feel entitled.

If you're the person who is always impolite, pushes yourself forward, makes snide remarks, gossips about others, or frequently reveals your potty-mouth, just stop. It is not attractive to be rude or offensive to others or in front of others.

Similarly, if you feel entitled to everything you have and even things you don't have (like being first in line or not having to sit in traffic), people will avoid being around you. There is no point in making a scene just because you disagree with someone or have different views.

Someone said that “beauty is only skin deep.” That may be true.

But true beauty goes deeper than skin. You want to be beautiful on the inside because that is the only beauty that matters and that lasts.