Last night was the illustrious Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, as I’m sure you know. All social media outlets were completely flooded with the inane babble of immature and pathetic females singing its praises and making wildly inappropriate statements as to their opinion on what transpired.
I hate the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and dread its airing every year. Yes, I do shop at Victoria’s Secret and will admit some of the models are pretty and yes, glittery and sparkly wings do catch my eye from time to time, but what I truly can’t stand is the average females’ reaction to this spectacle.
Each year, from the moment they rise until the show is actually aired, the stereotypical female (the girl that everyone hates) babbles on and on about how excited they are for the event. You can learn more about females in the day leading up to the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show than during any other time in their lives, I promise you that. Here are some of their typical post-show antics I hate most:
Females Not Realizing There’s An Actual Fashion Week One of the things that irritates me the most about the girls who worship the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is that if you were to tell them that there are actually two full weeks of fashion shows showcasing high end designers' works of art all day every day for a full seven days, they would have no idea what you were talking about.
These girls worship this “Fashion Show” but are most likely to be the same females who think that Uggs are an appropriate form of footwear. I'll bet said women couldn’t tell the difference between a pair of jeans and a pair of trousers and probably think that watching a pre-shot, heavily edited “fashion show” of over-decorated lingerie makes them an arbiter of fashion, when in reality they’re only familiar with discarded material from three seasons past.
Females Complaining About How Fat They Are Of course, the most obvious annoyance: the influx of already thin females complaining that they’re fat. What these girls don’t realize is that yes, Victoria’s Secret Models have wonderful bodies, but they’re the kinds of women who were blessed with an amazing metabolism and are naturally that thin.
There are thousands of women like this everywhere you look; yet no one pays attention to them, because they’re not plastered on a billboard.
Girls who are already thin will complain all day, tweeting “Can’t wait to be disgusted with myself tonight while watching the VS Fashion Show #killme”. Let me tell you something. It’s so blatantly obvious that you’re starving for attention and I promise you that we will not give you any. Which brings me to the next act of stupidity following this Fashion Show:
Females Who Claim They Want To Develop Eating Disorders
Nothing infuriates myself more than idiotic females claiming that they are in fact going to attempt to develop an eating disorder to look like these Victoria’s Secret models. How ignorant can you be? Millions of women and men suffer each and every year from eating disorders.
It consumes their minds and bodies and I guarantee that almost all of them would want nothing more than to be at peace with themselves and not have one negative thought towards their bodies. Go ahead, try and develop an eating disorder, see how well that actually works out for you, and then you come back and let us all know how you're doing.
Females Who Don’t Back Up The Shit They Say
Finally, these girls will spend all day exclaiming the aforementioned ridiculousness and thinking to themselves “Yes, tomorrow I’m going to start dieting and exercising and in two months I will look just like Adrianna Lima.”
These girls will wake up the next day, match their workout clothes to their sneakers, do their hair, eat fruit for breakfast and hit the gym. They’ll walk at a 4.3 pace on the treadmill for 45 minutes, jump off, realize that they’re kidding themselves, and grab a burger for dinner.
Don’t believe me? Visit your local gym for the rest of the week and see how many more non-serious females will be hogging up the workout equipment. They’re exactly like the post New Year's Resolution crowd, and ain’t nobody got time for that.
Ally | Elite.
Photo Credit: Getty Images