Lifestyle

Why Advice Is Just Something We Ask For Even When We Know The Answer

by Nicole Cottrell
Stocksy

Advice is a universally acknowledged term we tend to throw around when we need help making decisions, right?

Wrong. We might think we’re digesting other people’s opinions regarding the issue at hand, but, in fact, we've already unknowingly decided what we plan to do.

We might not want to admit that we plan to disregard the sincere words spoken to us after hours of spilling our hearts out to our nearest and dearest, but our subconscious minds can be somewhat overwhelming and powerful when a decision is imminent.

As much as we drone on and on about being in such difficult situations and not knowing what to do, chances are, we’ll end up choosing the option that initially crossed our minds when we first entered the situation. Sound familiar?

This theory can be applied to the most trivial of decisions, like deciding what film to see or what to have for dinner, purely by the toss of a coin.

In that split second, when the coin is mid-air, we already know whether we want it to be heads or tails.

And, it’s exactly the same for life decisions, too.

Our hearts rule our heads time and time again, allowing the logical state to battle with the emotional state, which complicates things even more.

Our heart justifies wrongdoings while our head gives us the answers we don’t necessarily want to accept or act on.

The sole reason we ask for advice is to seek reassurance for the decision we've already made.

Nobody wants to be judged or criticized for making the wrong one, so we desperately try to avoid it by hoping someone will agree with our mode of thinking.

If someone tells us what we want to do is a bad idea, we don’t automatically withdraw from the thought and take the advice we’re given, do we? Instead, we try to justify it and persuade people that our decision is the best decision.

But, why?

We’re great at talking, but not so good at listening when we’re in the driver’s seat.

We might think we’re absorbing and carefully considering the words that are spoken to us, but realistically, they’re being stored tightly in a small space in the back of our minds.

Really, we don’t need to justify or explain our feelings to anyone.

We’re all individuals and we’re all our own people who are free to make our own decisions and choices. But, maybe it’s wise to listen to and absorb what others are saying.

And, I don’t mean to do this by not interrupting or pushing our opinions away; I mean by actually opening our ears and our hearts to a different way of thinking.

While we should seek to maintain and uphold our morals and standards, it can be refreshing to gain a new perspective, too.

We need to try a little harder not to be ignorant to advice that may end up helping us in the long run.

Obviously, there’s no point taking somebody else’s advice if it will make us unhappy, but we must also try not to be foolish.

Instinct and intuition are our biggest, most powerful, forms of inner guidance and unfortunately, if it feels wrong, it probably is. Don’t ignore that; don’t ignore gut reactions for fear of sadness, regret or loss.

We’re naturally made to be knocked down, only to build ourselves back up, stronger.

We all need to experience rejection and failure to understand our worth because without that, we’ll end up accepting less than we deserve.

We ask the people we trust because deep down, we know they have our best interests at heart.

Although their advice might not be what we want to hear, it might be useful.

Of course, we have to deal with the constant battle of our hearts vs. our heads, but maybe, our hearts just need a little more time to accept what our heads already know.