It's that wonderful time of year once again. A time to reflect on the last 12 months of our lives and wonder how the hell it came and went so fast. A time to welcome the exciting new beginnings ahead of us while remembering the sweet memories we made.
We also say goodbye to bad Top 40 songs, terrible season finales and much-too-famous sayings, which 2014 so forcefully shoved down our throats.
As the generation of social media and living life online, we simply can’t get away from it; picture captions, hashtags, status updates, Snapchats and tweets are all too real.
All I’m saying is, would it kill us to branch out beyond the same overused sayings day-in and day-out?
It’s time to retire the eight sayings below, welcome 2015 with a clean slate and make room for new funnies to roll through.
1. “I woke up like dis.”
Oh, did ya? You woke up with a full face of makeup, freshly brewed coffee in hand and your Frenchie perfectly positioned beside you in an ever-so-adorable, tongue sticking out pose? Spare me.
Listen, you may be able to add a Valencia filter to your everyday life with the click of a button, but I’m not buying the idea that you woke up looking like that. And, if you did, well I’m f*cking jealous. There, I said it.
2. “I literally can’t even.”
I’m a full-blown “white girl,” so this one totally resonates. “Literally” is definitely among the most overused words in my daily vocabulary, but “can’t even” needs to be put to rest. You literally can do it. I believe in you.
3. “Turn down for what?”
Oh, I don’t know, how about turn down for a little thing called work? I can’t even tell you how many times I have been driving in my car at 8 am and innocently turned on the radio to hear Lil Jon screaming at me, “Fire up the loud, another round of shots… TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?”
I mean, I just got my coffee and I’m sitting in traffic, heading to work. This is neither the time nor place.
Also, having to see a vacation picture of you lounging on the beach with a mimosa in hand while I’m reminded of my nine-to-five is just plain cruel.
4. “Sorry not sorry.”
What exactly are we saying here? I’ve never fully understood it.
You’re sorry for not saying sorry, but you just said sorry? So, null and void. I might be going out on a limb here, but I’m pretty sure the girl who literally can’t even is also sorry she’s not sorry.
5. “Bye, Felicia.”
This one is definitely overused, but to be quite honest, I don’t see it going anywhere for a while, and I’m perfectly content with that.
For the person who’s completely annoying the balls out of you, who can’t stand to look at for one more second before delivering the ultimate eye roll of the century, two words say it all: Bye, Felicia. Who? Exactly.
Guys, it’s sad I even need to have this one on the list. It’s 2014. The "Sheen Machine’s" year was back in 2011, when he coined the canny phrase. I’ll give it to him, he had us all saying it and thinking we were clever all on our own.
But, all good things must come to an end. The saying is no longer relevant. Let it die and rest in peace.
7. “But, first, coffee.”
Who do you think you are, Shakespeare? Being poetic is cute and all, but can we speak in complete sentences? And, your foamy latte can be pictured without stating the obvious.
8. “Or nah?”
I know texting has made us lazy and such, but must we speak how we type? "OR NAH?" There’s absolutely nothing lazier.
Would you respond that way in an interview? "So, are you gonna hire me… or nah?" I sure hope not, but with the way things are going, I wouldn’t put it past some people. Guys, we’re better than this.