Instagram Anonymous: 5 Signs You're Addicted To Putting Filters On Your Life

by Alex Schnee

As a member of Generation-Y, I have come to notice several addictions Millennials commonly hold. Perhaps most dangerous of all is our addiction to Instagram.

You know who you are, Instagram-junkie; you’re the one thinking about how long it has been since you last posted a photo (a few hours), whether it will clash with your other pictures (who cares) and whether or not someone else might have already posted something similar.

The Instagram addiction can be a difficult one to recognize, so I have included several symptoms of the serial Instagrammer and solutions (from my experience as a former addict):

1. Thinking about filters as soon as you take a picture

You want to know another name for your “Sutro” filter? Crack. The Instagram addict will likely know the names of all available filters and will also know which ones work best with specific lighting.

Have you ever said something along the lines of, “This will be perfect for Lo-Fi!” or “I just love Sunrise for my sunrises?” If so, we know your thumb has gotten a good workout from pressing that cute camera button.

Solution: #NoFilter

2. Having other apps with other available filters that look different from Instagram filters

The addicted Instagrammer wants to be unique, but there are only so many filters available for one to use. When the initial infatuation stage is done, the addict looks for something even stronger: alternative apps.

Solution: Invest in a Polaroid camera, now.

3. Using #hashtags in everyday conversation

One sure sign of a social media addict is the event of speaking in hashtags. If you find yourself slipping them into conversations with friends, you should seriously think about your social media habits.

As in, have you ever said, “O-M-G, I look so great in this photo. #Flawless”? If so, you will attract other addicts and provide no reason for anyone to take you seriously.

Solution: Use another symbol in your speaking habits. *Asterisk!

4. Having a code word for Instagram

The addict is fully aware that the verb, “Instagramming,” is difficult to say and sounds a bit douchey. To alleviate this struggle, an addict may create a code word to cover up his or her obsession.

Not only does this make an Instagram addict come across as even crazier than he or she already is, but it rarely makes any sense, either. I’ve heard many custom monikers for the app, but of those, “hamming” might be the most appropriate.

The main problem with creating an alternative name is that eventually, using it becomes as addicting as the addiction itself.

Solution: Try drugs, instead.

5. Selfies

I’m not sure what makes me cringe more: “selfie” being a recognized word in the Oxford dictionary, or that a huge portion of Instagram is dedicated to showcasing selfies.

An Instajunkie is easily identifiable as someone who outstretches his or her arm while holding a phone and cries to friends, “Come here, guys! Get in here, guys! Let’s take a picture, guys!” No matter how attractive this person might be, seeing snapshots of him or her over and over again is sufficient reason to keep the app closed.

If your last few photos have been suspiciously self-centered, you might suffer from a condition that’s not unique to Instagram addicts; it’s called narcissism and it’s an actual disease.

Solution: Seek a professional.

If you find that you are experiencing any or all of these symptoms, you might have an issue. Unfortunately, the only way to completely rid yourself of your addiction is to delete the app and remove it from your life — filters and all.

You could always go back to your pink BlackBerry. Well, I guess you don’t want to go back to the Stone Age. Just give it a second of thought while I take this selfie.

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It