C'mon, you know you have them -- everyone does. Those people who only reach out and text or call you first when they need something. Any other time you speak to them, it's because you're making that first text or call.
Half of the time, they seem like they want nothing to do with you. They don't want to have any casual shoot-the-sh*t conversation, or to flirt because that doesn't help them at all.
They don't think about the fact you just want someone to talk to at a given moment; they can never come through to offer help when you need a favor.
But, oh, no, if they need a favor, they know exactly whom to ask for help because you've been such a good friend.
You've helped with the extra cash they needed, the homework, the networking and the job opportunities over the years. And, their way of repaying you is by saying you're "the best" or "my best friend" when regarding you.
Well, now is the time to stop being so damn nice. Those people don't deserve your help or friendship — let alone the privilege to even call you a friend or best friend — if they're not helping you back when you need it most.
Here are some ways to identify who's there for you and who isn't:
1. A REAL Friend Will Help You Back, No Questions Asked.
Okay, well, if you need $20,000 by tomorrow, that's a little out of the question. But, if you've been helping a so-called friend out for a while, a favor for you should be nothing to him or her.
"I got you, don't worry about it" is the response you want to hear from a real good friend.
Friendship is based on trust, so when that person says he or she has "got you," you should have enough trust in him or her to follow through not just one time, but almost every time you ask for a favor.
"Almost" is the key word there; sh*t happens, and sometimes, help won't always come through, even with the sincerest of efforts.
Also, don't get too addicted to asking people for help, lest you start to look exactly like one of the people I'm writing this article about.
2. The Needy Ones Always Text When You Least Expect It
It's hard to avoid the fact that you'll get excited when you see a text from that one person you haven't heard from in a while. "Ooh! It's [insert needy acquaintance's name here]! Haven't heard from you in a while!"
The conversation seems nice until he or she hits you with that question for a little pick-me-up.
This person is probably popular and has many contacts at his or her disposal, so when something unimaginably unmanageable pops up, he or she has more options to ask for help.
But still, he or she comes back to you because you're the nice one.
It's rare to get a random text from someone who just wants to catch up. So, when you do get that text, you better appreciate that sh*t.
Until then, stop being so nice to that person who only wants to hook up, borrow your homework or use your money.
3. Your REAL Friends Know The Needy Ones Just As Well As You Do
You've probably had this conversation with more than one of your friends, too: "Ugh, I HATE people who only hit me up when they need something!" Chances are, your friends who aren't needy can relate, too.
The group of friends you keep says a lot about you. If you can rely on your friends, they can do the same for you.
And, when people see how well you all rely on each other, they think, "Wow, they can probably help me out, too!"
Some people, sadly, feel entitled to help from everyone, and will kiss your ass all they can to get what they need from you.
Not only is it important to point these people out to yourself, but your good friends (who hopefully would do the same for you) are relying on you to help weed them out of their lives, too.
4. They Will Kiss Up To You And Make You Feel Bad, Just To Get A Favor
Lastly, the neediest of needy will find ways to get what they want from you, whatever it takes. Why?
To be brutally honest, sometimes, it's just because they don't give a sh*t about how you feel. You might think they care about you when they say, "What's up, bestie?" or "My man! You know I can always count on you, right?"
But, sometimes that's just their way of boosting your ego enough to help them with something they're too lazy or incompetent to do themselves.
If you don't help them out, the true test will come in to play. They'll hit you with the, "Aww, c'mon really?" or the classic, "After ALL I've done for you," even when they haven't done that much at all for you. Don't let these ploys guilt-trip you into doing something you don't want to do.
That is your time to stand up to them, tell them no and possibly face never talking to them again if it means they can't rely on you for favors.
But, hey, if that's all they were in your life to do, they weren't friends and you don't need them, anyway.