When we're young, the club seems like the best thing on the menu. As we age, however, we realize a good meal in a quiet restaurant will always fill us more than an empty club and the drunkards in it.
You want to connect with other people over something other than your mutual drunk. You want to actually remember what happened. You want to have your cake and eat it too -- not blackout and throw it up later.
As you grow up you're attitude towards clubbing is more of "been there, done that" while restaurants will always have something new to offer you.
Here’s why you’d rather go out to eat than go out to not have a seat.
1. You’d rather have a food baby than a real baby
No one puts a food baby in the corner.
2. You’d rather have a waiter than wait in line
You stand by your diva philosophy, “They come to you; you don’t go to them.”
3. Because you actually want to swallow
You don’t need to be a champ to take it down in one bite.
4. You’d rather have good service than bottle service
Because $350 at the club gets you cheap alcohol and one glimpse of the bottle girl; $350 at dinner gets you fine dining and all the ladies wrapped around your finger.
5. You’d rather go to sleep at 11 than start your night at 11
Who needs to ruin a perfectly good night’s rest?
6. You’d rather grind pepper than be grinded on
Pepper doesn’t invade your personal space.
7. You actually want to hear the people you’re talking to
You can’t have real conversations inside in a club. No, shouting every Rihanna lyric doesn’t count.
8. Because you can sit the f*ck down
Can we get an "Amen"?
9. Because you don’t need to pay to sit the f*ck down
What is this hypocrisy? This isn’t a Broadway show or basketball game. This is a lounge, and we’re going to do just that.
10. The only thing referred to as a "piece of meat" is steak
You are not someone else’s to feast on.
11. You won’t lose your friends when you come back from the bathroom
And it won’t take you 45 minutes to finally go into the stall.
12. You can keep down what you ate
We all know you’re throwing up more than just your hands at the club.
13. The hostess is easier to get past than the bouncer
Bouncers have yet to experience fun for themselves and that is why they are so content to stand on the outskirts all night. Hostesses, on the other hand, know how delicious their restaurants’ food is and want to share it.
14. You can be there with your parents and not worry what they’re thinking of you
It’s really hard to shame the family name at dinner. (You can try.)
15. There's no risk of getting kicked out just for enjoying yourself
Unless you are under the age of 4.
16. You won’t get stomped on by a bunch of stilettos
But you can totally play footsy.
17. You like remembering what you spent your money on
And it feels more justifiable when you get something other than a hangover out of it.
18. You can eat dessert, not be someone else’s
Or, you can eat it and be it, too. Regardless, there’s f*cking dessert!
19. It’s perfectly acceptable to be messy at dinner
Getting dirty at the club takes on a whole different meaning.
20. You prefer candle lighting over strobe lighting
It’s better for your complexion. You look sexier with a warm glow than a flashing blue streak.
21. You’d rather pass some gas than pass out
Say what you will, but there’s comfort in knowing you WILL wake up the next morning.
22. When you go out to dinner, the night is always different
When you go clubbing, it’s all the same. The only thing that changes is your ability to stand upright.
23. They bring your credit card back to you
At the club, you inevitably leave it there and have to go back in the daylight to retrieve it. Have you ever been to a club in broad daylight? It’s awkward.
24. You’d rather wine and dine than sweat and shine
If we wanted to work up a sweat at night, we’d go to the gym.
25. You can take home leftovers
After a night of clubbing, the only thing you can manage to take home is whatever is left of you.
26. There’s no annoying bitch trying to get into your booth
Strangers won’t bother you at dinner.
27. You can reserve your spot
The only reservation you have at the club is the sketchy guy watching you dance.
28. When you’re out at dinner, you know what happens next
When you wake up after the club, you’re wondering what happened.
29. You won’t hear a Chris Brown song 78 times
That is worth abstaining from clubs forever (ever, ever).
30. You don’t have to wait for drinks
Someone else is more than happy to fetch them for you. #Winning
31. You know who you’re going home with
At the club, you’re still looking around…
32. You won’t wake up hungover
Isn’t that the whole point of going out to dinner over the club in the first place?