"Dante’s Inferno" basically sums up the worst kinds of people. The nine concentric circles of hell are filled with characters from every horror movie imaginable: the greedy, the lustful, the gluttonous, those filled with wrath, violence, fraud and treachery.
While the classic novel covers just about every sin, we often find ourselves saying, “That person deserves a special place in hell” when people bring our biggest pet peeves to light.
No, they probably didn’t kill anyone and they most likely weren’t accused of treason or fraud. There are, however, certain acts that some people do that truly boil our blood. Sure, they’re probably not the worst of people and they certainly don’t belong in any circle of hell, but they continue to do things that annoy everyone else.
Most of the time they get away with it; otherwise they wouldn’t keep doing it. Sometimes, though, they are perfectly aware that their actions are inconsiderate, yet they don’t care.
Other times, they may not be aware that they are walking a slippery slope of being permanently branded (and soon-to-be shunned) by society as “that person.”
It’s now time to come together and tell these people that the following acts are seriously frowned upon (like, as bad as wearing socks with sandals):
Mergers
Honestly, this should be added to one of the circles of hell. These are the people who will fly down the exit lane while everyone else is stuck in gridlock traffic.
At the very last minute, they cut off a poor, innocent soul to merge into the proper lane. They even know they have to get over, but find themselves above waiting in traffic. Some people even feel entitled to drive in the median.
Listen up, Batman: If you’re not dying or in labor, you can wait your turn, like everyone else.
People who let their dogs poop in your yard
Most of America loves dogs… except when remnants of their feces are smothered to the bottom of your shoe. This is not okay — especially in the winter. When you’re walking your dog, expect the worst and hope for the best. Bring a baggie with you and clean up after your pooch.
Nobody wants to experience that slushy sensation of stepping in nasty doggy business. It just ain’t right.
No headphones
Few things match the irksome feeling of riding some form of public transportation with someone who thinks it’s a brilliant idea to listen to music on his or her phones, without earbuds. How is this okay? Not everyone wants to listen to Ke$ha like you obviously do.
Skip over to the nearest Target and buy some damn headphones. Now.
Speakerphone
The same point rings true for people who talk on the speakerphone in public places. As much as it can be wildly entertaining to overhear a stranger’s conversation, nobody wants to hear you shrieking into your phone to the person on speaker.
Let’s be honest: When this happens, we’re all thinking, “No, Lindsay does not care how yummy your pita was, nor do we. So please, GET THE F*CK OFF THE PHONE!”
People who take the elevator to the second floor
Taking the elevator to the second floor is only socially acceptable on a few occasions: if you’re moving, carrying a heavy load or are physically unable to use the stairs. Otherwise, everyone else in the elevator hates you. How hard is it to walk up one flight of stairs? Let’s burn some calories.
Not holding the door open
To the person for whom I’m holding the door: I saw you out of the corner of my eye and I decided that it would be rude if I let the door slam in your face. But, you know what’s even ruder? When I take time out of my day to do a good deed for you, only to be repaid with silence.
A simple "thank you" would have prevented the next person from getting the door slammed in his or her face. Pay it forward.
Using a Groupon for the first date
Rather than charming a potential lover with a pleasant evening, these people decide to use a Groupon for a first date. Wanting to save money is completely understandable; that’s why long walks were invented.
Unfortunately, though, using a coupon is equivalent to taking someone to McDonald’s on the first date. Keep it classy.
Putting your dishes next to the sink
It’s completely reasonable if someone doesn’t want to wash a dish the moment after eating. Hey, that’s half of the reason why sinks were invented. But, what possesses a person to place a dish next to the sink, not in it? If the sink is full, that’s one thing. Otherwise…?
Tasmanian devils of retail
If you’ve ever worked retail, you’ll understand that when someone decides to walk through the doors five minutes before you’re about to close the store, it can be the most terrifying five minutes of your life.
The person can either A) cruise through the store and decide to head out, B) quickly return something or purchase something just before you close, or C) plow through the store, destroying every perfectly folded item in his or her line of view.
These people haunt your dreams and make you stay late.
Horrible tippers
Before I ride off into the sunset, I will dedicate this last rant to you, horrible tippers. Customer service is a difficult industry. People who work in this industry are hard workers.
Chances are most of their paychecks come from tips. The least you can do is compensate them based on the service and experience they provided for you. Just because you’re broke doesn’t mean you should cheat them out of their hard-earned money. Be fair.
