Things always and never go wrong. It’s a difficult concept to understand, and an even more difficult concept to adopt as being human doesn’t exactly allow for such control over emotions and understanding.
Things affect us in this way and that's not so much because we are under their control, but because we don’t understand that we are in control – for the most part, at least. Things go wrong all the time… but at the same time they needn’t go wrong. Here’s what I mean:
1. There Are Things That Are Completely Out Of Your Control.
There is only so much that we can actually control in our lives. Yes… it does blow. It would be great if we could control every single minute detail of our existence – all that goes on around us – but it simply isn’t the case. You need to accept that; the sooner you do the sooner you’ll be able to brush your problems off for the uncontrollable happenings that they are.
If you can’t control it then you shouldn’t worry yourself about it. That may sound easier said than done, but there are several techniques you can use once you accept that the things out of your control are actually out of your control (the Internet can provide you with those).
2. There’s No Substitute For Time.
A lot of the time things aren’t so much going wrong as they aren’t going great. Because we consider going wrong basically anything that falls short of our expectations, even when things aren’t necessarily going wrong and are just going at the natural pace, we often feel as if they were going wrong.
This is usually the point when we push even harder, trying to force the results that we wish to see – trying to force success. That isn’t how things work either. Sometimes things take time to develop and mature. Sometimes pushing makes things worse. Worrying and stressing over such things definitely makes things worse.
3. Failure Is Part Of The Learning Process.
If you don’t fail regularly then you’re doing something wrong. That’s right – if you don’t do something wrong regularly then you’re not doing something right. Confused? Because we rarely can predict the exact results of any of our attempts at success, regardless of what that may entail, failing is part of the process.
If you’re not failing often then you’re not trying enough things. However, if you are failing often, make sure that you’re not testing the same theory over and over again. State your theory. Test it. Fail. Move on.
4. There Are No Highs Without Lows.
Things can’t always be going great because the better things go, the higher our expectations. The higher our expectations, the more likely we are not to reach those expectations. Most of the time what we consider to be a low is what others would consider to be highs. Lows are a natural part of life. But anything that goes down can go up – you just have to figure out how.
5. It’ll All Suck Less If You Stop Focusing On How Much It Sucks.
Our minds can be our worst enemies. There’s this feedback loop that seems to be built into our psyches. When things go great, we are happier, we see the world in a better light, and everything seems that much better. On the other hand, when things seem to be going poorly, we are thrown into a gloomy mindset.
Things seem to be bleaker and then everything we come into contact with or ponder over seems hopeless. The more hopeless it seems, the worse we interpret experience – experiences, mind you, that with a better mindset would seem just fine – and the worse off we feel, continuing the dark cycle all the way down the rabbit hole.
Distract yourself. Get your mind off the bad and focus on what good you do have in your life – we all have some. Look at the brighter side of things and don’t focus on the negative.
6. You’ll Be Completely Fine No Matter What.
We all have a tendency of blowing things out of proportion. The fact is that no matter how badly things are going, no mater how much you screwed up, no matter what has been taken away from you, you can’t start from less than 0. When you’re at 0, you can only go up. But having everything taken away from you is not a situation you will ever find yourself in.
Even if all your physical possessions have been taken away, even if your family and friends have been removed, you still have you. You have your knowledge, your thoughts, your mind and your experiences. You are always worth something and that’s something that no one can take away from you.
7. What Doesn’t Kill You Can Make You Stronger.
Can – not does. In order for your troubles to make you stronger, you have to learn from them. You have to figure out where – if at all – you went wrong. What could you have done differently? What could you have done more efficiently? What should you have avoided? What could you have interpreted in a different manner?
What is it that you were missing? If you can learn from it then it wasn’t time or energy wasted. We can’t pick and choose the manner or speed in which we learn our life lessons. Only life gets to decide that.
8. Chances Are You’ve Been Worse Off Before.
What’s interesting to note is that those that seem to be worried and stressed the most are those that have the most to lose. That’s not surprising. But consider the fact that all these individuals didn’t start with all that they have – they started with much, much less. If you were fine with a whole lot less, then why are you freaking out about reverting back to that?
Sure, you’re accustomed to a lifestyle and no one likes going backwards, but that’s all mental; it’s all your perception of the situation. You won’t hate your life if you go backwards if you didn’t hate your life when you were at that point before. What you really don’t want to lose is all that time and energy that you spent creating what you’re about to lose.
Unfortunately, the only way to look at it is as a lesson that you need to learn in order not to lose it again the second time around. Now get off your ass and make that success happen a second time.
9. Life Is Just A Game.
People are under this illusion that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but there isn’t. Your life, the experiences you have, the things you did and are going to do, all of that is the reward. Things going to the sh*tter is all part of the game.
It’s not a lower level, it’s a new level. Just as in games, life often gets harder as you make your way to the top. The only things in your favor are the skills you picked up along the way. You’re always making progress, even if you don’t know it.
10. There Are More Important Things In Life.
Chances are that whatever you are worrying about isn’t all that important. There is little in our lives that isn’t replaceable, interchangeable or forgettable. What matters is what you as an individual give importance to.
Things aren’t intrinsically important – only people are. If you lost someone then you are in a difficult spot, but in time you will grow to appreciate others enough to no longer be sad about those you lost.
As far as our careers go… it’s great to have passions, but if no one ever needed to work, if we all lived in a utopian universe, you’d be keenly aware of what matters most: life itself. Everything else is just what we do to pass the time while we aim at achieving that utopian state.