I’ve encountered two types of people in this world: those who choose to be happy and those who choose to be unhappy.
The wisest, strongest and most loving people you will ever meet are those who feel the pain of failure, rejection, defeat and heartbreak, but somehow find the way out from the depths of despair.
These kinds of people have a sense of appreciation, sensitivity and empathy for others and an overall understanding of life. They are happy.
Unhappiness lies in the breach between what we think we need and what we currently have. The greater part of our happiness or unhappiness depends on our outlook toward challenges that come our way. We all have one life to live and it's a personal choice how we choose to live it.
These are my 10 confessions regarding my happiness choice:
1. I have blamed people for my unhappiness.
When things went downhill, I always used to blame others for how I felt. I blamed them for hurting me or leaving me or simply not making enough of an effort.
The reality is, I am in control of my own feelings; I choose to feel the way I do. Once I realized this, I started to take responsibility for my emotions, beginning with my confessions and ending with my lifelong lessons.
2. I have failed countless times.
I can’t even remember how many times I have failed. I kept trying and trying, and eventually, it got to the point that I felt defeated.
The thing about life is that nothing comes easily. We must work hours, days, years to get to where we want to be.
I’ve learned that it’s better to try and fail than not try at all. One day, all your hard work and efforts will be worth it.
3. I have let someone I love go.
It hurts to know you loved someone so much, you had to let him or her go. Whether the person broke your heart or vice versa, you simply knew it wasn’t healthy to have this person in your life any longer.
But, isn’t that what love is all about? You can’t force someone you love to stay with you if he or she doesn’t want to do so.
Just because someone is not physically in your life doesn’t mean he or she isn’t on your mind or in your heart. Letting go of someone is NOT the end of life. Rather, it is the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves but never without a lesson.
4. I have judged people.
We all follow different moral codes, so when we do encounter someone who does not fit our individual standards and beliefs, we pass judgments without knowing the whole story.
Accepting a person is a choice, and I’ve come to realize that knowing the whole story makes me happy.
5. I have felt alone and miserable.
It’s easy to look around and notice people around you thriving. But, let’s dig a little deeper. Life is not perfect and the people who live it aren't, either.
We all struggle in our own ways. Just like life, these feelings are temporary, and it’s up to you to change your outlook.
Someday, all the pieces will come together; good things will come your way, even if things don't turn out how you want. You’ll look back someday, smile and ask yourself, “How the hell did I get through this?”
6. I have lived in the past.
Have you ever replayed the past over and over again? It’s like you’ve hit an iceberg and are just stuck.
You keep trying to compare your past to your present, but the thing is, while it’s great to look back, the key is the present. Living in the moment but knowing life is a mystery is what makes life... life.
The secret to happiness is allowing things to unfold on their own. Let go of your past and set yourself free. Stop comparing everything and everyone to your past. Keep an open mind and heart to new people, relationships and experiences.
7. I have been insecure and afraid of losing something/someone.
I’ve spent time worrying about losing people, and due to my own insecurities and fears, I had pushed people away. Free yourself of all fears. Don’t be afraid to lose something or someone because if you try to stick to any person, thought, or object, you are more likely to lose it.
I’ve learned that the very moment you let go of fear, you will attain freedom and confidence.
8. People I truly love have hurt me, and I have hurt people I truly love.
We are bound to make mistakes and hurt the people we love. After all, we are human. I’ve learned that the pain is a part of growing stronger and wiser. Perfection does not exist and when we realize that, we will start to forgive ourselves.
Most importantly, forgiveness is also the simple awareness that there is actually nothing that requires forgiving. We are perfectly imperfect humans who hurt, love, grow and learn.
9. I have had expectations of certain people.
As a result of this, I have also been disappointed. As human beings, we are competitive and selfish. We are all in it for ourselves, which is why the only person from whom you should expect things is yourself.
I’ve learned to create expectations regarding how I choose to live my life. You might not always get what you want, but you will get what you expect.
10. I have wanted to die.
I recall times when I have broken down, and it feels like everything bad happening all at once. I have felt so low, to the point that I wondered whether life was worth living. This is my last confession and the most important lesson I want to pass on.
You are blessed with this unpredictable life and it is up to you how you choose to live it. Life can be horrid or beautiful. It’s bold or scary. It’s sad or happy. It’s what YOU make of it.
The sign of a happy person is a choice he or she chooses to make despite the struggles he or she faces. I choose to be happy. What do you choose?