Woman Tweets The Hilarious Things Her Boyfriend Says While He's Asleep

One woman got the brilliant idea to tweet everything her boyfriend says in his sleep. The result?

A whole bunch of bizarre, nonsensical tweets, making her feed almost as wacky as Kanye's.

With a little help from DreamDictionary.com, I'm going to psychoanalyze Sir Lord Dick Pat's dreams. I should probably mention I'm not in any way a qualified psychoanalyst; I didn't even jump on the psychology major train during my freshman year of college.

That being said, here's my in-depth analysis.

Usually, when things go wrong with eyes in dreams, it means you're not seeing a situation clearly.

But dreaming of smelling eyeballs? That has to mean your nose isn't seeing things clearly.

Your brain tricks you into thinking there's not enough cheese when, really, there's not enough nacho.

This is just Psychology 101.

We've all performed surgeries -- of the soul.

Freud would say he clearly wants to have sex with an octopus.

Personally, I think he just has a hankering for calamari.

Definitely sensing a god complex here.

Tigers represent inner strength.

My analysis is he doesn't care about sticking to those New Year's resolutions. It takes inner strength not to go on a juice cleanse.

Daddy issues.

Mommy issues.

Third-cousin-twice-removed issues.

Issues on issues on issues.

As a certified bullsh*t doctor, I'd prescribe a steady diet of special brownies for Sir Lord Dick Pat, because nothing helps a serious case of weirdness like medicated goodies. It's a fight-fire-with-fire kind of strategy.

Citations: Woman tweets the amazing stuff her boyfriend says in his sleep (Daily Dot)