Woman Regrets Everything When Tinder Guy She Rejects Wins Olympic Gold
As we all get high on the speedball that is watching Olympians immersed in the best moments of their lives and the worst moments of their lives, it's important to keep in mind the people up on that screen are not the only winners and losers.
No, we chestless, buttless normal people can also feel the ecstasy of victory and the heartbreak of loss.
This article, unfortunately, is about the heartbreak side of that spectrum.
Sabryna was happily watching the men's 100-meter butterfly race on Friday, when she started to think the guy in the lead's name seemed really familiar.
Let's have her describe the moment in her own words.
She told Daily Mail,
I was watching Michael Phelps in the 100m butterfly race and then Joseph won. I noticed the name sounded familiar and the announcers kept saying he was a Longhorn [an athlete from the University of Texas] so I looked back through my Tinder matches and found out it was him.
That swimmer, who went on to beat Phelps and win the gold, was Joseph Schooling, 21, who was competing for Singapore.
Sabryna and Schooling had matched on Tinder back in April.
And despite the fact he has more impressive musculature than Poseidon, Sabryna stopped responding and eventually swiped left.
Sabryna, apparently, wasn't interested in what Joseph was selling.
Anyway, upon realizing the person who literally won an award for beating the most decorated Olympian in history was a guy who had wanted to go on a date with her, she turned, as is customary in situations like this, to Twitter.
But mostly, she just thought the whole thing was super funny.
Honestly, I just thought it was hilarious that we had matched at one point. It's pretty crazy to think you've had an interaction with an Olympic gold medal winner.
Sabryna also told her mom about it all, and her mom's response uses an understandable amount of question mark bursts.
I don't use Tinder (my strategy for meeting women is to just hang out in my apartment alone and stare longingly at Gillian Anderson in "The X-Files"), but for those of you who do, I would suggest looking a bit more closely at your matches before you swipe left.
They might be amazing at swimming, or some other very specific thing, like taxidermy, or burping the alphabet. I dunno. Those are just a couple of options.
Citations: When that guy you ignored on Tinder becomes an Olympic gold medallist (Metro), Houston woman's flirty Tinder match turns out to be gold medalist swimmer Joseph Schooling (... who has a girlfriend) (Daily Mail)