Woman Hilariously Trolls Stranger Who Sent Her An Unwanted Dick Pic
Getting sent an unsolicited dick pic is like getting surprise acupuncture.
Acupuncture, like a dick pic, is only nice when you have specifically asked for it. Otherwise, it's just someone sticking needles into your forehead on the subway.
And yet, men on the internet love sending unsolicited dick pics more than Peter Thiel loves suing Gawker. They can't get enough of it.
Apparently, women don't pay enough attention to these men in their non-virtual lives, so the men have decided to just digitally surprise women they don't know with their pale, shrunken mushrooms. This, apparently, makes them feel very good about themselves.
Well, when writer Samantha Mawdsley was sent a dick pic out of the blue on Facebook, she decided to turn the tables on her digital flasher.
Her perfect and highly effective dick-pic counterpunch is incredibly simple, but it showed her assailant exactly how unwelcome a picture of a stranger's random penis is.
Here is the guy's original text. By the way, Samantha censored these images with these graphics. The guy's penis doesn't actually look like an emoji vomiting. It just smells like that.
She left the pic alone for a while, ignoring the guy like most people do. But apparently after sleeping on it, she decided to retaliate... by sending him dick pics of her own.
She just found pictures of penises on the internet and sent them along. As you can imagine, the guy did not like this at all.
She gave him a taste of his own medicine, and by medicine, I mean the sudden and unwelcome receiving of disembodied sperm-delivery mechanisms.
The fact this cheesefuck actually got annoyed about this is the most perfect encapsulation of exactly how deluded men who send unsolicited dick pics are.
"I was nice with [you]," the guy explained. He did, after all, tell her she had nice eyes (after forcing those nice eyes to see his gangrenous genitalia that haven't been touched by anyone other than himself or his dog in 16 years).
She explained she was being exactly as nice as he was.
Then, the guy called Samantha crazy, and began explaining she will not be able to **** (fuck? paint? knit? who can say?) one of "those" anyway.
Yes, guy, she will not be able to **** (microwave? befriend? applaud?) one of the penises she randomly found off the internet, and which, this man probably assumes, is connected exclusively to incredibly hot celebrity faces -- because that's how big penises work.
Counterpoint: The Mountain from "Game of Thrones." Dude's face looks like my knee, but I'm sure he has a penis at least as large as a base camp on Mount Everest.
Samantha's strategy is one I hope other women will apply, but mostly I hope women have to stop dealing with these fucking losers and their Lilliputian crotch vomit.
Check out Samantha's Twitter here.
Citations: Woman receives unsolicited d*ck pic from a total stranger – gives him a taste of his own medicine (Metro)