F*ck Everything: Whole Foods Was Selling Water With Asparagus In It


At some point in the last 10 years, we collectively decided vegetables were pretty much as valuable as gold.

Vegetables, you know, those things that grow out of the the ground and are fertilized with caca?

Yeah, not sure why but we decided to start paying completely unacceptable prices for those rare delicacies called plants, but we did.

And now the trend reached its peak.

Behold, the new delicacy: asparagus water.

This technique was developed over centuries by farmers and chefs who worked tirelessly to perfect the intricate and delicate "dropping asparagus in a water bottle" tradition.

It earned its $5.99 price tag.

Unfortunately, Whole Foods didn't appreciate the perfection that was this artisanal beverage and removed the product from its shelves.

It's a shame big corporations are so often on the wrong side of history.

Watch this funny video of a guy pretending to work at Whole Foods.

Citations: Whole Foods Selling Asparagus Water Is A Sign The End Is Near (Huffington Post )