WebMD Generation: 14 Struggles Of Thinking You're Sick When You're Not
We've all been there; a cough, headache or bruise, and we start to think something bigger could be wrong, instead of just settling on the fact that we may just have a cold or a stubbed toe.
Most people can let those fleeting anxious thoughts go and move on with their actual lives.
Others, like me, run through all the scenarios that could somehow lead to hospital visits, emergency surgeries or incurable diseases--like when my friend thought she had herpes but was in the midst of a six-month dry spell (not me, totally a friend).
Most of your friends think you're crazy, and you even think you're crazy, but you just can't help it.
1. You are extremely proud of your antibacterial collection.
Hand sanitizers, antibacterial wipes, lotions, sprays. You have it all and are glad to share it. Keep it clean, y'all!
2. You have actively avoided sick friends or coworkers.
No. No. Hell no. Stay away from me with that nasty cough. I don't want to see you or know you until I can make sure you're healthy, and you won't infect me with whatever that is.
3. The smallest signs of sickness quickly turn into a downward spiral.
This headache could just be a headache. Or it could be the start of type 2 diabetes. Might as well start by expecting the absolute worst, amirite?
4. You've become an expert at diagnosing yourself.
You've read up on enough diseases that you probably should have become a doctor. Actually, if you did that, you wouldn't have to constantly be in the doctor's office *~CAREER CHANGE~*.
5. When your friends feel under the weather, you're the first one to give advice on what you think they might have.
"It could be a sore throat like you said... but can you move your neck? If you can't, get to a hospital ASAP." Definitely not the best idea, but you can't help but warn her.
Hopefully by now, your friends have learned to take your advice with a grain of salt.
6. All bets of staying sane are off if someone else notices a new bump or cut you had no idea about.
It's one thing when you notice something off about your body. If you're the only one seeing it, you've got a better chance of talking yourself out of your issue.
But if someone else points it out, it means it's actually real, and you can start losing your mind now.
7. You think you'll have an allergic reaction or be poisoned when trying anything new.
I once heard a story about a guy who had a slice of pizza and ended up dying from a severe peanut allergy.
Now I rarely ever eat new foods without hyper-analyzing my reaction to it, even though I don't have any allergies. Yeah, it's totally irrational.
8. WebMD is both your best friend and worst enemy.
You know you shouldn't look up what your symptoms may mean, but there's no way you actually won't.
It's the quickest form of information and biggest cause of your stress at the same time.
9. You inspect yourself for symptoms and successfully have a panic attack in the process.
My chest is tight, and my arm hurts. Andddd now I'm hyperventilating.
If I wasn't having a heart attack before, I sure am now. Who cares if I'm 22 years old? I COULD BE THE EXCEPTION!
10. Your Google search history probably looks a little something like this:
Sometimes, a quick google sesh can make you feel a lot better about what you may be dealing with.
That's usually the case about 2 percent of the time, though.
11. You have said your goodbyes and started to plan your funeral more times than you'd like to admit.
Tell momma I love her. My 13-year-old brother can have my Transformers collection. Bury me in a Derek Stepan jersey.
12. Good luck getting anyone, even your doctor, to believe there's actually something wrong with you.
How many times have you said "but this time I really mean it?" Yeah, they've heard it all, unfortunately.
Time to get a new doctor. And a new family?
13. You wanna scream from the rooftops when you're finally convinced you're not dying.
F*CK YEAH! I FEEL SO ALIVE. I can take on anything. Let's achieve all the goals and dreams.
14. But that voice in the back of your head tells you the doctor was wrong, and you probably still have that flesh-eating disease.
Better check WebMD once more, just to be sure.