You might think claiming to have a dick the size of Elephant Man's arm would help you get matches on Tinder. And it appears one 33-year-old Rodzilla, discovered by The Frisky, is currently testing that theory.
Let me clear things up for you, guys: His giant penis isn't helping him get dates for two very important reasons:
Reason #1: Because a 22-inch penis is likely fatal to women.
Reason #2: Because this isn't real.
According to Google, the current record for the largest penis is 13.5 inches in boner-mode (that's the correct term, yes?). Also, if you actually read this guy's profile, the fraudulence of this cock-artist (that's "con artist" mixed with, um, "cock") is clear as day.
As his "About Me" describes him, he speaks 15 languages, has been to more than 80 countries, has a PhD, MBA and MA and wants to meet for tea. I mean, TEA?!?! WHO MEETS FOR TEA!?! This guy is a f*cking phony.
The best part is he says he's not looking for hookups, but then he posts this photograph of his pre-pixelated, toddler-sized penis-bat.
Also, what is he holding in the above picture? Is it a lightsaber? Is he holding it to provide a scale for his Bigfoot penis? I'm confused and intrigued.
I just like to think of this guy making this profile, by himself, over a couple of hours. Just soberly taking pictures of a towel under his pants, by himself.
I can't think of anything more lonely in the whole world.